Infamous right-wing troll Jacob Wohl, known for his failed attempts to manufacture sex scandals involving Robert Mueller and Mayor Pete Buttigieg, recently took on a new target: U.S. Senator and 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren.
At a “press conference” held yesterday in Washington, D.C., featuring Wohl’s frequent “partner in crime,” Jack Burkman, the pathologically inept duo made a salacious claim against Warren. As The Mary Sue put it,
The pair announced this week that they were holding a press conference featuring a “decorated, former U.S. Marine and bodybuilder who alleges he was involved in a long-term sexual relationship with presidential candidate, Sen. Elizabeth Warren.”
“These charges will shock the conscious of the nation,” Burkman was quoted in the press release.
If the misspelling of “conscience” wasn’t a tip-off that something was amiss, the press conference itself was a complete train wreck.
In brief, Wohl and Berkman claimed that Sen. Warren, 70, had been engaged in an affair with “Kelvin Whelly,” 24 (or 25; the press release and press conference disagreed about his age). Mr. Whelly, a former Marine, bodybuilder and ostensible sex worker, read a statement—almost entirely without laughing—describing the affair.
E.J. Dickson beautifully summarized the claims at Rolling Stone
The improbably named Kelvin Whelly, a former Marine, claimed that last year, Warren had hired him via the male escort agency Cowboys4Angels and engaged in a steamy extramarital affair with him, involving, among other things, lite BDSM and threesomes with busty blondes. A printout distributed during the gathering detailed the allegations, which read like erotica written by a 13-year-old who had seen Fifty Shades of Grey once, and didn’t really get it.
Even putting aside the inconsistently reported age of Mr. Whelly and the ludicrousness of specific allegations against Warren, the whole story fell apart immediately.
Among other things, Wohl and Berkman had Mr. Whelly unveil “scars” claimed to be caused by his encounters with Warren.
Now Whelly, the Marine, is showing scares… pic.twitter.com/w7nH6ckxqw
— Zachary Petrizzo (@ZTPetrizzo) October 3, 2019
Unfortunately for our would-be grifters, Whelly had posted another account of the scars on Instagram three years earlier:
The patsy in Jacob Wohl’s latest sex smear says he got a scar from a sexcapade with Elizabeth Warren. His Insta shows something else. pic.twitter.com/fK5HPJT3HX
— Brandy Zadrozny (@BrandyZadrozny) October 3, 2019
Like most things involving Wohl and Berkman, their incompetence generated hilarious commentary across social media yesterday.
My initial reaction to the [albeit bogus] claim from Jacob Wohl that Elizabeth Warren is a “cougar” who left scratches down the back of a buff 24-year-old Marine with a Vin Diesel tattoo. #Cougar2020 pic.twitter.com/p57pQJV2LU
— Farrah Alexander (@AuthorFarrah) October 3, 2019
(Referring to Wohl and Burkman, the Vin Diesel stan they roped into this is apparently not pulling his weight) pic.twitter.com/lNMYmnlBda
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) October 3, 2019
Welp, that this year’s Halloween costume settled. https://t.co/pFfxAXscAK
— Quoth the Raven, “Daniel Summers” (@WFKARS) October 3, 2019
medicougar for all
— Ariel Edwards-Levy (@aedwardslevy) October 3, 2019
It was Senator Warren herself, however, who got the last (and biggest) laugh out of the whole situation.
It’s always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it. pic.twitter.com/fHasLm0j9P
— Elizabeth Warren (@ewarren) October 3, 2019
The perpetually inept grifters have yet to speak out on this shambolic smear attempt. But Mr. Wohl, in particular, might consider leaving the limelight and giving up his grifts for good. The serial scammer is currently facing felony securities fraud charges in California.
(Sources: The Mary Sue, Rolling Stone)
At least make it believable, like he had an affair with Kamala Harris or Pete Buttigieg. I’m trying really hard to picture Elizabeth Warren having sex, and I just can’t.
Wohl will always be a pathetic joke