Notorious Right-Wing Grifters Invent Liz Warren Affair with Beefy Former Marine, Are Mercilessly Mocked

U.S. Senator and 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren, left, and alleged accuser, former Marine and bodybuilder “Kelvin Whelly,” right. / Images via Instagram.

Infamous right-wing troll Jacob Wohl, known for his failed attempts to manufacture sex scandals involving Robert Mueller and Mayor Pete Buttigieg, recently took on a new target: U.S. Senator and 2020 Democratic presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren

At a “press conference” held yesterday in Washington, D.C., featuring Wohl’s frequent “partner in crime,” Jack Burkman, the pathologically inept duo made a salacious claim against Warren. As The Mary Sue put it,

The pair announced this week that they were holding a press conference featuring a “decorated, former U.S. Marine and bodybuilder who alleges he was involved in a long-term sexual relationship with presidential candidate, Sen. Elizabeth Warren.”

“These charges will shock the conscious of the nation,” Burkman was quoted in the press release.

If the misspelling of “conscience” wasn’t a tip-off that something was amiss, the press conference itself was a complete train wreck.

In brief, Wohl and Berkman claimed that Sen. Warren, 70, had been engaged in an affair with “Kelvin Whelly,” 24 (or 25; the press release and press conference disagreed about his age). Mr. Whelly, a former Marine, bodybuilder and ostensible sex worker, read a statement—almost entirely without laughing—describing the affair. 

E.J. Dickson beautifully summarized the claims at Rolling Stone

The improbably named Kelvin Whelly, a former Marine, claimed that last year, Warren had hired him via the male escort agency Cowboys4Angels and engaged in a steamy extramarital affair with him, involving, among other things, lite BDSM and threesomes with busty blondes. A printout distributed during the gathering detailed the allegations, which read like erotica written by a 13-year-old who had seen Fifty Shades of Grey once, and didn’t really get it.

Even putting aside the inconsistently reported age of Mr. Whelly and the ludicrousness of specific allegations against Warren, the whole story fell apart immediately. 

Among other things, Wohl and Berkman had Mr. Whelly unveil “scars” claimed to be caused by his encounters with Warren. 

 

Unfortunately for our would-be grifters, Whelly had posted another account of the scars on Instagram three years earlier:

 

Like most things involving Wohl and Berkman, their incompetence generated hilarious commentary across social media yesterday.

 

 

 

 

It was Senator Warren herself, however, who got the last (and biggest) laugh out of the whole situation.

 

The perpetually inept grifters have yet to speak out on this shambolic smear attempt. But Mr. Wohl, in particular, might consider leaving the limelight and giving up his grifts for good. The serial scammer is currently facing felony securities fraud charges in California. 

(Sources: The Mary Sue, Rolling Stone)

2 thoughts on “Notorious Right-Wing Grifters Invent Liz Warren Affair with Beefy Former Marine, Are Mercilessly Mocked”

  1. At least make it believable, like he had an affair with Kamala Harris or Pete Buttigieg. I’m trying really hard to picture Elizabeth Warren having sex, and I just can’t.

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