Opinion: Let’s Stop Weight Shaming in the Gay Community

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I recently wrote an article called I’m Gay, Fat and Single. Nothing to Worry About Though, which was met with a ton of positive feedback from hundreds of men and women who read it. There’s usually a mixture of positive and negative when it comes to topics like this, however this one was generally the former and that always makes any writer feel good.  However, there was one alarming factor that I saw written quite often across social media and it’s something that i didn’t realize was this much of a factor in the gay community.

The comment was this- “This dude is not fat”.  Or “LOL, this dude thinks he is fat“. There was a similar sentiment to something else I’ve written, about how you shouldn’t conform to society’s “negatives” and focus on what makes you the best you. Now, I am all for criticism as that is part of being a writer, but the norm seems to be that the gay community might have a divisiveness about it when it comes to what really constitutes as fat in our world.

Not that I really want to share this, but I’m roughly 260 pounds. So yes, by doctor’s terms… I’m fat.  These are facts. There are men who see it a little differently than that, as they view me (and other guys) on the slender side of what is considered to be a bear.

If someone says that they think they are fat, it’s their choice to do so.  It shouldn’t be met with comments like, and I quote, “He’s not fat.  When you become my weight… We’ll talk. Hit 400 pounds and be gay.  This guy has no idea what he is talking about”.

There is clearly a lot to break down from that particular statement.  One- who is he to judge on what I know about myself regarding my personal struggles with weight, and does a number in terms of pounds really separate guys who are fat and ones that aren’t?  It makes no sense, really.

Gay men are advertised in so many different compartmentalized ways in terms of figure, race, body hair, and whatnot, that it becomes somewhat “hodgepodge f***ery” when determining who you really are.

I have stated in the past that i do not need a label to define me, I’m me, and happy to do so.  But with the weight issue, do we really need to be put into groups that range from “Super Chub”, “Chub”, “Cub”, “Muscle Cub”, “Otter” and everything in between?  Things are complicated as is, this is just getting silly at this point.

There’s also the bottom line of being confident in who you are that makes weight a non-issue. What others may see in you is not how you see yourself. So what really defines being fat in this community is ultimately due to the naysayers who criticize others due to their own insecurities. If you do the right thing and choose to ignore them, then you can continue being your fabulous self no matter what your size really is.

This is the opinion of one contributing writer and not that of Instinct Magazine or other Contributing Writers.

What do you think?