So I don’t know if you guys heard or saw last week that Gwyneth Paltrow released a controversial product on her massively successful Goop website. The item was a scented candle called “This Smells Like My Vagina.” At first, I thought it was an internet prank with the usual mischievous photoshop at play. It seemed too far out of left field for Paltrow, the quintessential Miss Goody Two Shoes, to be selling a candle that promoted the scent of her poon. I mean, really?
Alas, it was true. I logged on to the Goop site and typed in ‘Vagina,” and there it was, Paltrow’s Va-jay-jay in a jar. I was shocked to see this product was real, but then I was floored to find out the $75 candle sold out in minutes from the site. That means people everywhere really want to know how Gwyneth Paltrow’s hoo-ha smells. For the record, I am NOT one of them.
It turns out, domestic goddess Martha Stewart is not a fan of Paltrow’s cootch-candle either, as she expressed when a fan called in to ask her thoughts on the matter during her recent appearance on WWHL with Andy Cohen.
Martha does seem to give Paltrow props though for having some marketing savvy and knowing how to “zhoosh up the public to listen to her.” When Cohen asked Stewart her opinion of why the candle sold out, and if it was a reflection on America, Stewart quipped back jokingly that it was more likely just a reflection on a bunch of horny guys.
One thing’s for sure, Stewart also made it clear that she would not be buying the candle, which by the way, reportedly smells heavenly with notes of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed.
My personal favorite response to Paltrow’s candle came from Twitter user DetroitDish@24kBlondi who asked, “What does desperate for attention smell like?”
What does desperate for attention smell like?
— ⭐DetroitBlondi⭐ (@Det_Blondi) January 14, 2020
Well, according to online sales and the back order waitlist for this product, we can surmise that Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina smells like money … and lots of it!