Holy crap, well, not really crap, but wow. I didn't realize there were so many causes of an itchy bum.
There have been times when that ass itch is just a little irritant on the surface, and other times, it's something that you may need a professional to get down and dirty and scratch.
“Anal itching is quite common, and for some people, it can feel incredibly frustrating,” says Mitchell Bernstein, M.D., an associate professor of surgery and director in the division of colon & rectal surgery at NYU Langone Health. “Some people even start scratching in their sleep, and of course, too much scratching just makes it worse.”
So if it's just a bug bite from your afternoon nude sunbathing, then you're fine. But for some we wish it was just a bite.
The ailment is known as pruritus ani, meaning "itchy anus" in Latin. (Talk about a straightforward translation.) Some people have "primary" pruritus ani, which means their anus is itchy for no apparent underlying reason. Others have "secondary" pruritus ani, which means the itch comes from an anorectal condition like hemorrhoids, anal fissures, bacterial infections, and more.
Jesus, that got serious quick! Let's take a look back and see where that itch really is before we go too deep.
When I first was looking into an itch butt, I was more superficial, just looking on the surface, and maybe a little of the crack, but yes, there are times when that itch seems to be coming from the depths.
MensHealth.com shared these six reasons for an itchy bum and how to treat them.
1. You're not wiping or washing enough –
Maybe you're not wiping enough and flecks of fecal matter remaining on your anus may cause the irritation and itching.
Along the bits of fecal matter being there, MensHealth.com also says drinking too much coffee causes the anal muscles to relax and may come some leakage. Get ready to wipe after that double pump of espresso.
Although the world may call it "butt acne," unlike the pimples that pop up on your face, itchy bumps on your cheeks aren't actually caused by clogged pores. Instead, they are due to what's known as folliculitis, which occurs when a hair follicle gets infected by bacteria or becomes inflamed—usually from friction due to sweating and clothing rubbing against the area, Bailey says.
They also mention that you should use a different soap for that ass crack of yours. "Use soap — but not the same bar you use on your face and body — and a hand-held shower head, if you have one – guys should look for soaps labeled 'sensitive' or 'gentle' when it comes to cleaning below the waist."
Reminds me of this skit from "Friends". Wait for it.
2. You're wiping too much –
You can get an itchy anus if you wipe too aggressively as some toilet papers are more abrasive than others or you are just being too thorough. Then again, some may break apart and remain behind, trapped, causing further irritation.
What else could you do? Well you could look at installing a bidet of you don't have one, or you could do what one of my friends does – take a shower every time after he dropped the kids off at the pool.
3. STDs –
The lovely herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc are common, and more common with people engaging in unprotected anal sex. Inflamation (and even warts with herpes and HPV) occurs which brings along its friends itching and burning with a possibility of dash of rash, pain, and the lovely discharge.
How to treat, no more or less toilet paper or soap will help. Get to the doctor if you think this is the culprit of your itchy behind. And remember to tell Tom, Dick, and/or Harry.
4. Eczema –
Eczema, a red, scaly rash that can itch persistently could be caused by, allergies, asthma, changes in weather, stress, or soaps/detergents.
Topical steroid creams to lowers inflammation are usually helpful, so cream that behind (not in like #3).
5. Fungal infections –
Fungus thrive the most is in warm, moist, airless areas, so your crack is like well a crack house for fungus. Swamp ass is real and it may lead to an itchy ass.
A fungal infection on the butt generally comes from two possibilities: an overgrowth of the yeast that is normally found in the bowels and on the perianal skin, or fungus that has spread along the skin from a different area of the body, says Cynthia Bailey, M.D., a board-certified dermatologist and founder of DrBaileySkinCare.com. The yeast-type infection usually only shows up around the anus. In addition to being extremely itchy, you may notice redness and pimple-like bumps. If it's fungus that has spread from elsewhere (which can happen by touching an infected area and then touching your backside), you'll usually see signs of it in the form of athlete's foot or toenail fungus, and it will manifest itself in a dry, itchy, scaly rash that can affect both the buttocks and the anus, Bailey explains. – shape.com
Find out why the swamp ass is happening. Your butt needs to breathe (so you can talk out of it more often?). Does the moistness back there happen in all of your underwear, certain brands, fabrics, jeans, etc. Pay attention to your bum's surroundings and you may be able to rectify the situation. Or you may need to get to a doctor for some topical or oral anti-fungal medicine.
6. Your laundry detergent –
Kind of a build off of the above … check your ass's surroundings. Your itchiness, dryness, wetness, all of this could be because of your laundry detergent. Certain chemicals could be irritationg the skin and is usually more severe in spots of dampness and where you sweat.
The fix? Shop around. Try different brands, but many recommend fragrance- or dye-free detergents.
7. Anal Cancer –
There is also a chance that the itching can be much more serious, such as a symptom of anal cancer. But Bernstein says the risk of that is incredibly low — mainly, because if it was cancer, you’d be much more likely to have bleeding rather than just itching.
Those are the reasons MensHealth brought forth for us to consider. Of course if your itching is intense, deep, and long lasting you should seek a doctor. Thanks MensHealth.com for looking into why my bum may be itchy. Are those the only reasons your bum may itch? Unfortunately, no, there are other reasons and that was just one source. You know from personal experience that there are many different types of butt itches out there so here are some other reasons from other sources to tell us more about why our biggest muscle / sex organ has that scratchiness to it.
Lifehealth.com says consuming excessive spicy food can cause itchy butt. It increases the acidic ranges, which in turn leads to an itchy butt.
This may come as a shock to you, but everyone has hemorrhoids. Hemorrhoids are the pillow-like cushions of blood vessels just inside the rectum. They're actually part of our normal anatomy, Muldoon explains. Hemorrhoids only become a problem when they get enlarged or inflamed (you may feel a lump in the area). Then they can cause anal itching, pain, and bleeding during bowel movements. Chronic constipation or diarrhea, straining during bowel movements, and spending long amounts of time on the toilet are some of the reasons hemorrhoids may start to swell. – shape.com
Ever get that "butt acne?" Folliculitis occurs when a hair follicle gets infected by bacteria or becomes inflamed—usually from friction due to sweating and clothing rubbing against the area. – webmd.com
Tiny cuts or sores (fissures) can open up inside your anus and cause pain and itching. Some of the causes are constipation (hard or large stool tearing the lining), long-term diarrhea, and inflammatory bowel disease called Crohn’s disease. – webmd.com
and last, but not least …
You may not want to know about this one. It happens when you swallow or breathe in the eggs of tiny worms. They get in your digestive system through contaminated food and things like bed linens, bathroom fixtures, toys, and sandboxes. It’s more common in children. The itching usually happens at night, when a female worm lays eggs around the anus. You may see them in your underwear or in the toilet after a bowel movement. They look like tiny pieces of white thread. If you or your child has pinworms, your whole family may be treated for them. – webmd.com
So next time you scratch that itch, it may just be nothing … or it may need you to look into why you need to go back there and take care of business and maybe even get some professional help.
As always, consult your doctor when it comes to seeking medical advice.
Then again, some of us might say we have an itchy ass so someone else will touch it, like this foal (not an ass) does. It can't get enough of the scratching.