It can be extremely hard to navigate the world of social media once you are thrown into the spotlight. It’s even more challenging when you have to deal with millions of people who have no problem telling you how they feel, positive or negative, from the comfort of their own homes.
Brita, who appeared on RuPaul’s Drag Race‘s 12th season earlier this year, was put through her own personal hell thanks to the continuous backlash she received over how fans of the show viewed her.
A big part of her storyline revolved around her relationship with fellow competitor Aiden Zhane. Brita was often viewed as the aggressor with Aiden as she got into it with her a bunch of times as the cameras rolled.
This left fans feeling sympathetic for Aiden and furious with Brita as the latter was bullying the former from their POV. The NYC queen chatted about that experience on The Sean L. Show recently where she admitted to not performing as she wanted to on the show, but was “blaming on someone else”.
Brita, who also said that she apologized to Aiden after one of their spats but “it wasn’t shown” on TV, detailed what it was like to watch the season while on lockdown with her parents in Maine.
“I would go onto social media and there would be hundreds and hundreds of messages every single day,” she said. “It got too much to bear. When someone starts to tell you you should kill yourself or how horrible of a person you are… you can try to brush it off, but it starts to get to you after a certain time.”
She then talked about how the abuse would “start all over again” whenever s12 would air in a new country.
“In July I had two friends pass away,” she said. “I was drinking a lot. I was abusing drugs, doing so much cocaine. I broke up with my boyfriend. The messages were still coming… I tried to hurt myself. I woke up on my floor in my room… after doing an entire eight ball of cocaine and drinking an entire bottle of Tito’s and taking every drug I had.”
“I threw up and I was passed out on my floor the next day,” she continued. “And I knew that I had to do something because I was going to hurt myself. And so I had to take a step back.”
Brita has been spending time with her family in Hawaii recently and says she “made a decision to leave social media for the month of September, my birthday month, to really figure myself out, to know what’s important. None of that is important.”
As for her social media accounts Brita says that she’s kept Instagram, deleted Twitter (calling the platform “Toxic”) and only posts on Facebook when she “needs to”.
If you or someone you know is in need of support please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1800-273-8255.