Sex in your 20’s … Different than 30’s? 40’s?

Chicago Phoenix writer Shane Michael Singh recently shared with us an article titled " Five Things to Remember about Sex in Your 20's."  It was a very good post, but as I read it, I was like, wait, I'm 40.  Is this list not applicable to me?  For his whole article, take a jump over to the Chicago Phoenix.  For an excerpt from each of his points and my thoughts, read on.

No 1 – You don’t always need a reason to have sex. … And sex is free; all it costs is a relatively minimal amount of time and commitment.

Well, I think this might be true for the whole human race, just not gay men or men.

No. 2 – That being said, you don’t need to actually f&#k every time you hook up.

Someone said this!  Thank you Shane!  Definitely go and read this part of his article for I think it is the most important number on the list.  Is everyone out there only concerned about fulfilling their top or bottom roles?  What about all those other erogenous zones Shane mentions that are ignored during those "quickies" to please the almighty catcher / pitcher roles? It seems there is no place for someone that just wants "oral only" on the hook up sites.  Yes, it's an option on some, but how often do you see it checked off?  The messages seem to stop when the other guy learns you're not looking for a penetration activity this evening, giving or receiving.  How about a go with a flow instead of a guarantee that penetration will occur when two men meet? *steps down from soap box.

No. 3 – Morning sex is always better. Maybe it’s the overnight festering of pheromones. Maybe it’s because waking up next to someone is undeniably romantic. Or maybe it’s just blue balls. But most of the time, morning sex will be better. … The only drawback, of course, is morning breath.

If you're lucky enough to have the guy stay or feel comfortable enough sleeping in his bed overnight, yes, I agree. Morning sex is a good thing especially if that extra toothbrush is around.

No. 4 – Sex is never just sex. At certain points in your life, sex will invigorate you. At other times, sex will destroy you. But you don’t get to decide. … But you don’t get to choose how sex makes you feel, or when, or why. You only get to decide whether you let both the good stuff and the bad define you.

Once again, well said Shane and this is true at any age, any weekend, on any cruise ship, or any back room of your choosing.  I wonder about those guys that you know are pretty popular and if their activeness affects them.  Can you just let sex be sex with zero effect, positive or negative?  I think sometimes sex with yourself may have a good or bad effect.

No. 5 – People aren’t held enough. So when a man is in your bed, hold him for a few minutes. No kissing. No fondling. No exploration. Just hold him and listen to his heartbeat …

Agree once again.  I'm 40 and I still like the touch of a man.  I remember I was in Austin for their pride, met a guy at the Iron Bear and we just chatted.  Our knees touched under the table and neither one of us pulled away.  Simple flirting.  We went out separate ways after about 2 hours of chatter and that was fine with me.  It was a great meeting and it made me feel happy and liked.  That touch or a simple compliment goes a long way.

So going back to the Sex in your 20's list.  I think it is applicable to any decade as well as across the decades.  It's no different when a 40 something hooks up with a 20 something or a 40's and 50's coupling.  Your thoughts?

6 thoughts on “Sex in your 20’s … Different than 30’s? 40’s?”

  1.  My bf and I never really end

     My bf and I never really end up having sex anyway – we just drink together and kiss a lot haha But when we do ;-D Its pretty great – it all matters about who is beside you.

  2. How old is Shane himself?

    How old is Shane himself? Some of his points I sort of agree with… others…


    No. 5 – People aren’t held enough. So when a man is in your bed, hold him for a few minutes. No kissing. No fondling. No exploration. Just hold him and listen to his heartbeat …

    I actually like that. Like, a lot. <3


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  3. Never had sex with anyone

    Never had sex with anyone other than myself till my 30's so I cant speak of that, but I'm now in my 40's and quite frankly sex is just as great as the first time as long as I am into my partner!

    • I had my first oral at 24 and

      I had my first oral at 24 and first anal 30, so I completely agree with you. There are times when the expectation overshadows the enjoyment of being there in the moment and all that is happening. If you go with the flow, it's always a better experience.

  4. I find my sex life has gotten
    I find my sex life has gotten so much better with age( I am 36 ) and now that i have met the love of my life ( He’s 48 ) and the man i want to marry and spend the rest of my life with! The sex we have is the best sex i have ever had! Sometimes we just talk, sometimes we just kiss and sometimes its so hot we are both shaking by the end! What i am saying and at any age is sex to me is the best when you are in love…..:)


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