The 70 Worst People At The Airport, Ranked. Y’all Made The List.

You may have just flew home from the debauchery that was Southern Decadence, flew back into the United States from Oh Canada, or finished up that cruise and are ready to board the flight home.  Besides worrying about flight delays, connections, and security, we as well have to deal with the fellow travelers. has compiled a list of 70 of those wonderful fellow travelers that you really could do without.  For the entire list, head over to Here are the ones that truly hit home for me.  I'm either guilty of being one of these or I'm desiring to hit that eject button so one of these "70 Worst People At The Airport."

70. People doing yoga at the gate.

69. Attendants who make seat-row announcements. “Hello, this is your gerrofur felta furda grr feddle. Blara derb cursor ferd jerbaherbajerb. Have a nice flight.”

61. People with colds/flu/Zika/Ebola

58. People who get drunk at 8 A.M. (gay men going anywhere tropical excepted)

54. Your smug friend who just got TSA pre-check and walk through security in a minute, then texts, "Where are you?"

45. Anyone with an “emotional support animal”

44. The gentleman in the next stall with a "wide stance"

40. Aisle sitters who scrunch their knees instead of standing up when you need to get back to your seat

39. People who make little noises with their mouths (lip-smacking, tooth-sucking, etc.

35. The person who doesn’t understand how seatback entertainment systems work

34. Little kid in the next seat checking out the R-rated movie you’re watching

28. The person who takes your seat and gets grumpy when you make them move

25. People who show up late for their flight and think they get to cut the security line

22. People who block the passing lane on moving walkways

17. People who hover near the gate when they're calling boarding zones

10. Anyone clipping their nails and/or practicing personal hygiene in flight

9. The person getting a handjob beneath the in-flight blanket

6. Flight attendant who gets hit in the head with a bag, comes completely unglued, unleashes a profanity-laden tirade over the PA, grabs two beers, pulls the emergency slide to make his exit, and then gets his own Wikipedia page. Oh wait … that guy is an American hero. What’s he doing on this list?

6. People who crowd the baggage carousel

5. People who don’t have their boarding pass and passport/license already ready when they get to the TSA agent, despite having been been instructed to do so approximately 15 times

4. Children who can't stop kicking your seat  –

Y'all are 58, 44, and want to be 9.   What were 3, 2, and 1?  Like I said, head over to to see the entire list.

What is the worst one for you?

What types of passengers are missing from the list?  Please let us know.

Mine has to be #6.   People that are so close to the luggage carousel that their toes are underneath, watching the bags go around in the hopes that theirs will be the first, when it is the 58th and everyone has to work around them.  Airports, please put a line 3 feet out from the carousel that people need to stand behind until their luggage is on the carousel and soon to be in front of them. 

It's annoying when you are standing the three feet away and someone just plops right in front of you and your bag ends up coming before theirs and when you say excuse me, that's my bag, they look at you like you just shat in their coffee and say you're rude for asking them to move.  ARRGHH!!!  Okay, I vented, but I have so many other stories about #6.

As a little added bonus, I found this Youtube video titled AIRPORT HELL where beefy, sexy, musician, comic, heartthrob Henry Rollins vents about his travels. 






7 thoughts on “The 70 Worst People At The Airport, Ranked. Y’all Made The List.”

  1. The “security ” staff who are

    The "security " staff who are too dumb to pass the intelligence test for a Walmart greeter position, who take out their inferior complex on passengers

  2. In the customs/passport

    In the customs/passport control line they wave you into line right behind a woman from a third world country with all her documents in a thick manila envelope

  3. ….and the person in front

    ….and the person in front of you who IMMEDIATELY pushes her/his seatback all the way back about the time the plane lifts off the ground…….

  4. Then there is the person in

    Then there is the person in front of you checking in for an overseas trip and checks one suitcase which weighs 32 lbs…….and only a purse as a carry-on…..while YOU have a checked bag that weighs exactly 50lbs and a carry on that weighs about 40lbs……(sigh)……..

  5. There’s also the elderly man

    There's also the elderly man on the aisle of the plane (your row of seats) who is dressed in a combination of stripes, plaids, solids, polka-dots, etc. with white socks and I don't know what kind of shoes…who proceeds to take out his dentures and clean them with a handkerchief???

  6. How about the person seated

    How about the person seated next to you on an 11 hours flight who decides to curl up sideways (?) and proceed to fart for several hours while trying to sleep???  Yes, it happened to me for sure……(sigh)……


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