What to do with your Cremains? Fireworks or Dildo?

I'm not looking to be buried when I die.  Where?  Next to who? Cremation is the way to go.  But what will happen to my ashes?  I have no kids and am the youngest in the family.  This first option sounds like the right one for me.

The Greenlawn Memorial Gardens … showcases fireworks manufactured with cremated remains by AM Pyrotechnics … Cremains can be displayed in a breathtaking fireworks display … One can choose from varying noise levels, colors and more to create a personalized display.

According to the National Funeral Directors Association, the rate of cremations is more than 40 percent, and continues to grow.  Greenlawn’s partnership with AM Pyrotechnics increases personalization options for families that choose cremation and allows its customers to design a memorial as close as possible to each individual’s personality. – www.ky3.com

Going out with a bang and bringing pleasure to someone else sounds like a great idea.  Who doesn't love fireworks!  But how about "having your ashes used in a sex toy, so your partner can remember your more intimate moments together? Probably not the most obvious answer, but designer Mark Sturkenboom hopes it will catch on (we kid you not)." – METRO.CO.UK  I'm not sure I want to be shoved in the sock drawer, in a shoe box under the bed or in the dishwasher for the rest of time, but Sturkenboom has a different storage idea for my eternity as a dildo.

 He’s created a memory box, that includes – more conventionally – a necklace and an amplifier for playing music that reminds you of the deceased.  There’s also a scent diffuser and a gold-plated urn. But, let’s be honest, it’s the dildo, containing the ashes of the owner’s dearly departed, that really grabs the attention.  Explaining his bizarre invention, Mr Sturkenboom said: ‘After a passing, the missing of intimacy with that person is only one aspect of the pain and grief. "This forms the base for 21 Grams. The urn offers the possibility to conserve 21 grams of ashes of the deceased and displays an immortal desire.’ He continued: ‘I sometimes help an elderly lady with her groceries and she has an urn standing near the window with the remains of her husband. ‘She always speaks with so much love about him but the jar he was in didn’t reflect that at all. ‘In that same period I read an article about widows, taboos and sex and intimacy and then I thought to myself “can I combine these themes and make an object that is about love and missing and intimacy?”‘  The box, called 21 Grams – said to be the weight of the human soul – was his answer. – METRO.CO.UK

So there's two options.  Go out with a bang or be someone's eternal bang.  Does he make one shaped like a bunny, dolphin, fist, or a gnome?  For some other options for your cremains, go to Five Unique Things to Do With Cremation Ashes.  Fireworks is one of them and shooting them into space is another, but the other three may surprise you.

Here's a video from WTFark on the Sturkenboom Cremains Dildo.

 

 

1 thought on “What to do with your Cremains? Fireworks or Dildo?”

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