When Parents Come Out To Their Kids.

There's been a great many coming out stories that have been shared here on Instinct Magazine.  Most have been of famous guys and gals, YouTubers, singers, actors, and the like. Some of you might have taken hints from them or borrowed their courage to assist you in your coming out. 

There's only four personal "coming-out-to" instances I remember vividly; to my mom as I was driving to confront a cheating boyfriend, to my bff from high school Kathy, to my friend Barbara, and to my brother when I talked about staying at his place for Southern Decadence. I haven't had too many wow coming out moment. 

But what if you had to come out to your kids? Is this any different? Would this be harder to do than coming out to your parents, coworkers, friends?

Here are a couple of cases shared by BuzzFeed.com where parents came out to their kids.


“When my partner and I were in the beginning stages of adopting our daughter at age 5, we were on an outing in the car on the first or second weekend we were spending with her. From the backseat, she piped up and asked us, ‘So what are you guys to each other? Are you brothers?’ We explained that we were in a relationship just like other couples she knows. ‘Oh,’ she said, paused, and then, ‘Awkward.’”


“My kids took the news that I was trans very well, better than I expected and my youngest immediately started calling me daddy — sweetest thing ever. He also made a card at school — ‘I know being transgender is hard but remember you have family that loves you!’

—Kai Gagnon, Facebook

“My dad never actually ever came out to me. It was 1990 and I was 11 years old. All I knew was that my dad ‘did’ something and that was why my mom and dad got a divorce. It took me three years to realize his roommate was his boyfriend. Up until that point, I worried about what he ‘did.’ I thought he may have murdered someone or was in the mafia. It would have been better if he came out to me early on. Either way, gay or member of the mafia, I loved my dad no matter what.”

—Elizabeth Collins

“While my 11-year-old daughter was making hot chocolate, I told her that my ‘friend’ was actually my girlfriend. She said, ‘Okay. Do you want any hot chocolate?’ Her lack of a reaction threw me off, so I tried to clarify by saying, ‘That means I’ll hug her and kiss her like I would with a man.’ She looked at me like ‘no shit’ and said, ‘Do you want hot chocolate or not?’

“We’ve been together for a year now, and they’re as close as I’d hoped they’d be.”



For more of these stories, head over to BuzzFeed.com.

Do you have a story to share about when you came out to your kids?

What instance of your own comes to mind first when you look back on your own "coming-out-to" occurrences?


h/t: BuzzFeed.com


1 thought on “When Parents Come Out To Their Kids.”

  1. I came out when they were 8

    I came out when they were 8 and 6 yo. We were reading a children's book about diversity. And in the last page I found incredibly appropriate to talk to them that their father liked men too. Although I did not have a relation at that time, I had been planning for months to put this lut of my chest. My girl did not have any issue. My boy strived to understand. I needed to reinforce several times, with different circumstances, always with a bright perspective towards being gay is not bad. 

    Later I noticed that the term "gay" used at the school was always related to depreciative jokes and my boy was concerned that I could be bullied by other colleagues. 


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