“In no way do I want this to be an attack on gay men. I fully support them having safe spaces that are welcoming. I don’t want to go to outer space either, but if someone suddenly said no women were allowed in space, I’d be first to join the protest.”
So says Amina Chaudhry as she attacks a safe space gay men have created for themselves. Chaudhry “filed a complaint alleging she was discriminated against because she wasn’t allowed to stay at an all-male resort that was clothing-optional for gay and bisexual men.”
The all-male resort in question: The Island House in Key West. According to the Keys Weekly, The Island House Key West resort’s owners and attorneys say that they have units for women, but that the specific woman wasn’t allowed to stay because of prior negative behavior. The layers of this story continue to deepen.
Related Post: When Someone Claims Excellence, We Need To Check It Out – Island House, Key West
Chaudhry was at the Pride kickoff parties at the Island House in both June 2021 and 2022. And get this…In June 2022 Chaudhry distributed flyers trashing the Island House. Flyers attacked the Island House and claimed its policies were discriminatory. Yes, the same Island House that invited her in as a guest. The same Island House where she had been to before and had a great time. Is this %^#$ woman for real? Literally coming into our safe space and then trashing it for being a safe space. I mean this isn’t funny but could you imagine being at the Pride party at the Island House and having this woman pass out flyers? Everyone is dancing, drinking, singing, having fun in the pool…I know my friends and I would have laughed it off and then probably clapped with everyone else as she was escorted out.
Yes, I am making light out of this and yes I am going to crack jokes throughout this column, but this is still an attack on the queer community.
I was going to write a paragraph about this woman’s motives or reasons but guess what I don’t give an F about are any of those. End result is still the same. Just because you are not welcome somewhere does not make it discrimination.
The world is different now than it was at the beginning of the Gay Rights movement. Some of my first mentors were reluctant to give up their queer bars to women, explaining to the younger generations (me in the early 2000s) that they fought long and hard for these spaces. Today in 2023, where everyone knows someone who is L G B T Q, the social scene is more mixed. Most queer bars welcome all ages, shapes, and identities. BUT…
And many of our staff have been to the Island House in Key West. There are some shoulder times where there may be a good opportunity for women to be welcome into the clothing optional pool area, when there are specific functions and all know what is going on. But people don’t book time at an all male clothing optional resort with the idea of dressing so that women can be allowed to attend all the time.
There are, and should be men-only spaces. And by the same reason, there should be women-only nights at bars and clubs and transgender-only parties. Is it discrimination? What about black-only or Jewish-only fraternities?
There are many bars in queer NYC I would go with my female friends, but would I take them to The Eagle? No, probably not. Would I take them to the Brut parties? No, definitely not. And I know I can speak for them when I say they do not feel discriminated against. Just like if I had two or three weekends to choose from to go to in Provincetown, ‘Women’s Weekend’ would not make my list. I wouldn’t be shut out from going, but I know that weekend is not the right time for me.
Island House owner Bob Lore said:
“I felt affronted by the fact that there was someone who was invited to the space and enjoying it, but while passing out literature to the detriment of our property and aggravating our guests. We eventually had the police escort her off the property.”
Good, I am glad. Aggravating our guests, he said it right there. Don’t come into our safe spaces as a guest and then fuck shit up. You will not be welcomed back. Again, I make jokes but this was an attack on our community and our safe spaces.
So that’s one writer’s opinion in a nutshell. What about you, Instincters? What are your thoughts on this topic? Have you been to men’s only nights and parties? Sound off in the comments below.
Reeks of that time men sued the curves gyms
— James Denning (@JamesDenni17310) May 2, 2023
It literally says “All Male Gay Resort” I’m pretty sure they have an “All Female Lesbian Resort” somewhere in Key West or southern Florida having these exclusive clubs is not discrimination 🤦♂️
— benjamin (keep the filibuster) hatcher (@benjaminhatche1) April 29, 2023
(**this post is solely the opinion of this contributing writer and may not reflect the opinion of other writers, staff or owners of Instinct magazine.)
Source: Keys Weekly
She sounds disturbed, and the hotel sounds fairly accommodating.
And yes, it’s probably sometimes annoying for gay guys to have women occasionally getting drunk and rowdy in their sex scene. But women have to deal with worse parasitic and often dangerous sh*t from men every time they leave the house—not just at the bar. So no sympathy there, boys. People suck sometimes.
But I would hope we all agree that women have an unbelievable amount of historical precedent for being suspicious of and hostile to all-male spaces. These male societies, bars, country clubs, etc. have stereotypically been used to exclude and disenfranchise women from not just that one space, but all of business and economic culture.
So, a little less hysteria, maybe?
Guys,
Your words of support are truly amazing and appreciated. We are awaiting a final ruling in this case. What we can tell you is that most businesses like Island House (of which there are many in South Florida and around the country) were founded during a time of extreme bias and hatred towards the gay community. We have been a resort for gay men to be gay since 1976, when just admitting you were gay, much less showing affection to your significant other while traveling, could literally get you killed. For 47 years, we have been protecting the rights of our guests to be free from judgement of any kind within our compound. We are not about to let this complaint stop us from providing this much needed safe space for our community.
Daft Cow.. How to split communities by a Bull Dike… I know the island house very well, the last thing men there need is a minge exposed. Maybe she is jealous as she is not a world famous slut, lets face it, we who visit the island house all are. May she receive a huge lawyer’s invoice…
Its all sh1+s and giggles until they spot someone getting sucked on the poolside. Let them in
I agree ,, does some of these women have better things to do than attacking an all male i said all MALE resort why do the woman care my god please go away ..go to your own all women resort leave us alone we don’t bother nobody it’s our own gay space … worry about something more serious in the world then this .. get a grip
How much does anyone want to bet, DeSantis will get involved in some way with this? I hope the owners are prepared to deal with this woman in court, would be a great time to have video of the event where she was there and of course any and all police reports. I am sure you are ready, just being a Daddy.
I couldn’t agree with the owner more. I’m in Boston where straight women are taking over the gay male community. We don’t have any space for gay men only. They force themselves into our events, become drunk and wreak havoc. The other major change is that the 20 something gay men need to bring 5 or more of them to a bar, club or event. Those women will often bring a straight man and I’ve seen confrontations.
Gay men now must have safe spaces.
What too many don’t understand is that these safe places are not anti-female, they are focused on men who want to be among men of like sexual orientation, to explore and express themeselves where they are fully accepted and safe to do so – these spaces ARE NOT ANTI-FEMALE. We all have mothers and sisters and best female friends we cherish, but these spaces are designed as havens for gays who are more and more facing elevated discrimination, especially in South Florida. This woman can be no friend of the gay community.
This was exactly my point in my article, from 2020:
https://gaytherapyla.com/gay-men-and-the-need-for-safe-spaces-of-our-own/
Sure…let them in and then have the crowd treat them in the most inhospitable way possible. No physical harm, no touching – just a hostile atmosphere that drives them out! I suspect the “novelty” wouldn’t last very long.
Yes, once again we can’t have a place or events unto ourselves as gay men without someone pushing their way into our lives with counter agendas. The Island House is a unique and safe environment for vacationing people who would like to feel free and welcome to relax with fellow kind. I can’t wait to visit Key West again and spend some time with the awesome staff and excellent amenities that Island House provides. Wishing them much success and happiness!
Leave gay male spaces to gay males, let us have a place of our own. Just like I support having an all female place where no men would be.
I think the whole idea of not allowing cis women and trans women speaks more about the gay men. Let’s face it there is amongst the gay white male community to view ALL things estrogen related as ICKY. I have a LONG memory and remember my partner (a trans woman) and a friend of hers also a trans woman walking through bay village to Jacques for a night out. Obnoxious gay white entitled south end brats douse them with their drinks and yell “fucking trannies” at them. I ALSO have a LONG memory of an article on the murder of Rita Hester (a trans woman ) on Bay Windows!!! The ENTIRE article Rita was referred to as he. Nice job Bay Windows. Just last Summer at The Atlantic House in Ptown (Ahole house for short). My friend a trans woman, myself also a trans woman, and a cis female friends of ours. Waiting at bar, NOT served!!! So YEAH what these gay “only gay male” spaces affirm. Gay men are immature cunts sometimes when it comes to women and they sometimes behave like this!!! It’s SO ANNOYING. They walk around like they own everything, get over yourselves please!!
She said that! Fuck off honestly! Go make your own Trans or Women spaces and see if y’all want men around. Glass houses ladies!