Woman Worries Butt Stuff Equals Gay

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A Woman Fears Her Friend With Benefits Is Gay Because He Only Likes Butt Stuff

Sexuality is just as complex and long as the galaxy. There are an endless amount of fetishes, sexual scenes and situations… preferences, really. What gets you off may not be my cup of tea and vice versa. Human sexuality is still being discovered on a daily basis and I firmly believe those who enjoy being aroused have no problem with trial and error. However, that doesn’t mean that sometimes how others orgasm will make everyone comfortable.


According to Portland Mecury’s Blogtown, where prolific writer and the creator of The Real O’Neals, Dan Savage, gives advice to curious or lost readers. One woman referred to by Savage as ASSCAFE (Asking Savage Since Confused As F*ck, Eh?) is worried her new friend with benefits may be sleeping with men because he only gets off doing “butt stuff”. He’s a party boy who enjoys performing oral sex on her but cannot get hard during. Actually, the only thing that get’s ASSCAFE’s man aroused is if she rims and fingers him. It’s only then that she can only finish the deed by riding him – he isn’t interested in other positions with her. She needs to know if he’s gay or not, because she’s slowly starting to like him. Check out her experience below:

“I was dating this guy for a month. I really like him. The first time we where going to have sex he was partying, if you know what I mean, so he wasn’t fucking me, just eating me. My Pussy, my ass, fingering me. He started fingering my ass but I don’t like that but since he was partying I was like, okay, he can’t get hard so I’ll let him finger my ass. The next time we had sex he wasn’t partying but he did the same things again: licking my pussy and ass, playing with my tits, but still: he was not hard. “What’s wrong?” I asked him. He didn’t say anything, he just kept eating, so I asked him if he needed Viagra. He said no. I was confused. He got somewhat hard I laid him down and started to suck his dick. Then I decided to lick his ass and—BOOM—he’s hard! I was like, “Well, okay then.” I started riding him and I put my finger in his ass. The whole time I was riding him I was fingering his ass. He came so much and so hard. It was crazy. I’ve never seen so much come. My question is, basically, is this guy gay? Or bi? Or more likely gay since he couldn’t get hard just from eating me or fingering me? I’ve never been in this situation before. We are not kids. We are both experienced adults. But I’m so confused because everyone will say, “Oh, he’s not gay! Don’t label people!” I’m like, “WTF are you talking about? I need to know if I should move on!” I don’t want to have to worry about him wanting to get with guys too.”

Savage goes on to claim that being into men is the difference between heterosexual men and bisexual/homosexual men. Preference of butt play doesn’t make the sexuality. Savage is led to believe the man may be straight as he enjoys giving oral pleasure to ASSCAFE and maybe they should try pegging AKA a woman wearing a strap on and topping her boyfriend.

Do you think this ASSCAFE’s fling is straight and simply into butt stuff or are you led to believe he’s deeply closeted and needs to let a man handle his needs – if he isn’t already?

Writer’s Note: This is the opinion of one Instinct Magazine contributor and does not reflect the views of Instinct Magazine itself or fellow contributors.

H/T: Portland Mecury

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