Sure, we are a community, but boy does it not feel that way sometimes. Over the years of being a writer, I have dissected several parts of the gay community (ones that I am in, ones that I am not), and the toxicity within some of them is truly terrible. Although we have come a long way as a community overall (gay marriage being legal in several countries, etc), there are still so many issues within us that hopefully will stop sooner than later.
Seeing as we are only days away from 2018, I figured it would be a great idea to come up with a list of five things that gay men should really stop doing next year. Not everyone will make this happen, but a lot of these issues are ones that have become problematic for years upon years, and hopefully will stop at some point.
Hating for virtually no reason at all.
All throughout social media, at bars, at clubs, wherever, shade exists. I'm guilty of it, we all are. The problem is that a lot of the times, shade is poorly directed at someone else for who they are in many different facets, that at the end of the day it just makes the person who is throwing it in the first place not only a dick but ultimately jealous about what they are hating about. If you are doing it in a way to make a joke, then have at it. But to be cruel for no reason is really awful, especially being that we are all grown. Which leads to many other points…
Stop Shaming (Fat, Race, HIV, Financial, etc)
This is where the community gets really ugly is when people are shamed for things they cannot control or have a hard time trying to change. Fat shaming in our community is as old as Joan Crawford at this point, but the fact that race and HIV shaming continue to exist as well in 2017 is something that really needs to stop ASAP. You can't judge a person in these sorts of shoes, so if you really have nothing nice or constructive to say, just stop.
Enough with the diva wars.
Seriously, enough. The social media stans who make sites like Twitter absolutely revolting to be on are literally the worst with the fan armies of who they love. You love Gaga and worship her? Great! Britney is your queen? Awesome. Madonna will always be your number one? Aces. But for the love of queendom, let's enjoy who we like ourselves and not destroy each other's social media because they don't.
Porn stars and escorts exist, deal with it.
Just recently we posted an interview with porn star Phoenix Fellington, where the first comment was "talented" LOL the guy fucks on camera, not much talent required. These are also the same guys who spewed a ton of venom when Rentboy went down, saying "those whores got what they deserved." Stop, seriously stop. The ones here who judge the most, either watch the most… or hire the most. Don't judge them for what they do for a living, it's making other people happy both in front of their computer screens and IRL.
Stop hating yourself.
RuPaul says it best. "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna expect anybody to love you?" Truer words couldn't be said. Life is short, so short, as we have seen this year with so many people passing at a young age. Why spend that time hating yourself when you can spend it really enjoying life and seeing what is good out there? If a good amount of gay men did this, all of the other things that we can stop doing can really be eliminated off the list. IMHO, of course.
What do you think gay men should stop doing in 2018?
I find the article
I find the article reductionist. Do really think you can reduce gay men to those 5 things? And it is always about negative attributes.
Uh,no, we are not a community
Uh,no, we are not a community. Sexual orientation in no way means or implies some kind of community of any sort. We don't know each other, we don't share the same values, preferences, inclinations, political views, cultural background, etc. Just because most homosexual people may agree on fighting homophobia doesn't mean we are, again, a community. We may share the ideal of a world without homophobia, for example, but that doesn't equal the idea of a community.
We are people.
It was a post about what
It was a post about what negative things we do. Of course it is going to mention negative things. I find your comment reductionist. It reduced your intelligence to nothing.
1 Thing LGBT Media Should
1 Thing LGBT Media Should Stop Doing: Publishing Dead and What Gay Men Should Do articles.
It was what they shouldn’t do
It was what they shouldn’t do. Maybe some people should make sure their comments actually align with the story.
Whores don’t deserve any
Whores don't deserve any respect and NEVER will…..