Oh, Kim Davis. Kentucky’s former Rowan County Clerk—best known for flat-out refusing marriage licenses to same-sex couples—is back in the headlines, and Andy Cohen is not here for it.
RELATED: Ten Years After Marriage Equality, Obergefell Faces Its First Direct Challenge
Davis has filed a petition to the Supreme Court asking them to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark 2015 decision that recognized marriage equality as a constitutional right under the 14th Amendment. Yes, the one that guarantees same-sex couples the same marriage rights as everyone else. That one.
For those who don’t remember—or for those who blocked it out for the sake of their blood pressure—Davis made national news in 2015 for refusing to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. As county clerk, she was legally required to issue those licenses on behalf of the U.S. government. But citing her religious beliefs, she straight-up refused, even when faced with a direct Supreme Court ruling. The standoff became so intense that Davis spent six days in jail for contempt of court.
Fast-forward to today, and Davis is still riding the anti-marriage-equality horse straight into the Supreme Court’s inbox. But thank the gay heavens we have Andy Cohen, who was more than ready to saddle up and deliver the prime-time read of the decade on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen–calling her their “Jackhole of the Day.”
@hunterkenz Well said #andycohen #marriageequality
On his show, Cohen didn’t just address Davis—he scalpeled her hypocrisy into bite-sized, meme-worthy moments.
“Lady, you’ve been married four times to three different people, reportedly getting pregnant with husband number three while still married to husband number one,” he said, with the kind of delivery that could make a drag queen take notes. “And you want to lecture us on the sanctity of marriage?”
If that wasn’t enough, Cohen went straight for the jugular.
“How about you take your high-body-count hair, bigoted, bump-it ass to therapy to figure out your relationship issues before you try to nuke our basic civil rights.”
Somewhere, a choir of gay angels sang in harmony.
And then, the finale—simple, powerful, and universally understood. Cohen looked down, extended his middle finger donwards, and said, “Overturn this, lady!” It was the punctuation mark that 2015 deserved but never got.
The irony of Davis’ petition isn’t lost on anyone who’s been paying attention. Here’s a woman who, despite her own complicated relationship history, believes she’s qualified to decide who does and doesn’t get to marry. It’s like a serial arsonist trying to outlaw candles.
@fallontonight The girls that get it get it, the girls that don’t don’t! @andycohen #FallonTonight #RealHousewives #AndyCohen
But Cohen’s takedown wasn’t just about the hypocrisy—it was about drawing a line in the sand. Obergefell v. Hodgeswasn’t just a court case; it was a declaration that love, dignity, and equality are not privileges to be rationed out based on personal beliefs. And if someone wants to drag us back to the days before it, they’re going to have to deal with the full weight of a community—and its sharp-tongued allies—ready to fight back.
@abcnews Ten years after the Supreme Court extended marriage rights to same-sex couples nationwide, the justices this fall will consider for the first time whether to take up a case that explicitly asks them to overturn that decision. Kim Davis, the former Kentucky county clerk who was jailed for six days in 2015 after refusing to issue marriage licenses to a gay couple on religious grounds, is appealing a $100,000 jury verdict for emotional damages plus $260,000 for attorneys fees. ABC News’ Devin Dwyer has more.
So while Kim Davis waits to see if the Supreme Court entertains her petition, the rest of us can take comfort in knowing that sometimes, the most effective legal brief comes in the form of a perfectly timed read, a reality check on live TV, and one glorious middle finger.
Because as Andy Cohen reminded us, some petitions don’t deserve signatures—they deserve shade.