Dating has never been simple—throw in labels, preferences, and the sometimes sticky conversations around sexuality, and things can get even trickier. On Nick Cannon at Night, the singer, host, and actor recently welcomed a guest who brought up a dilemma many bisexual people face: When is the right time to tell your date that you’re bisexual?
The guest, a bisexual man, put it plainly:
“As a bisexual man, my struggle is telling women that I am into men on the first date. As soon as I tell them this, I can instantly see them being turned off and everything I say after that don’t even really matter.”
@freeda_en Here’s what I’ve learned dating as a bisexual man #BiVisibility #BiSexual #LGBTQIA
“So I wanna know, is it a certain time or a certain way I should let women know that I am bisexual because dudes don’t care—I can just instantly tell them and they won’t give a sh*t. But when it comes down to women, they are instantly turned off. So should I wait? Cause I feel like that’s kinda cheating someone out of a relationship.”
@nickcannonatnight Whew! This question had the whole table leanin’ in 👀💅🏾 and the advice? Unapologetically real. Ladies… could you date a man who lives in all his truth? Comment below and catch the convo on a brand new episode of #NickCannonAtNight — now streaming!
That’s a valid concern—and one that sparks a much bigger conversation about honesty, timing, and the stigma bisexual men and women still face in dating.
RELATED: You Don’t Have to Be Straight to Be Christian — Just Ask Sam Williams
Flame Monroe, also a guest on the show, gave a blunt but pointed response:
“Duh!” Adding, “Of course a woman gonna turn and left if that ain’t what she’s in to. You can’t change her mind.”
In her view, if a woman isn’t into dating a bisexual man, you can’t change her mind. She seemed to suggest that it’s not about the act of revealing—it’s about finding someone who’s open enough to accept it. In other words, rejection may happen, but that doesn’t mean everyone will respond the same way.
Dr. Mike Dow, weighing in on the matter, agreed that the guest was on the right track.
“He’s doing the right thing,” Dow said. “Because if the women that he is trying to date are not okay with him being bisexual, then he’s doing the right thing and not wasting anybody’s time.” He also emphasized something crucial: “Bisexuality does actually exist.”
It may sound obvious, but it’s still an important reminder. Despite the year on the calendar—2025 now—bisexuality is still misunderstood by many. Some people see it as a “phase” or a “gateway” to eventually identifying as gay or lesbian. But as Dow pointed out, there’s actual science that supports bisexuality as a legitimate orientation. He referenced a study where researchers monitored blood flow using a cuff to measure arousal. The results? Men who identified as bisexual showed physical arousal to both men and women, which helped disprove the myth that bisexuality isn’t “real.”
But back to the heart of the matter: Should someone disclose being bisexual on the first date?
There are pros and cons to both approaches. If you say it right away, you know exactly where you stand. It filters out people who won’t accept it, saving everyone time and emotional energy, and date money if we’re being honest. Dating is an investment!
On the other hand, some argue that sexuality isn’t the whole of who you are—and revealing it too quickly could overshadow all the other amazing qualities you bring to the table. Waiting until there’s a bit of trust and connection might give your date a chance to see you as you, not just your label.
@noah_717_ I’m bi. Here’s what I’m not. (And I hope you stay for the last part.)
But then comes the nagging feeling the guest himself mentioned: is waiting “cheating someone out of a relationship”? If your bisexuality is a dealbreaker for them, is it fair to delay that disclosure?
This is where it gets personal—and complicated. There’s no universal right answer. What works for one person might feel completely wrong for another.
The bigger truth here is that dating, especially as a bisexual man or woman, still carries unique challenges. Despite more visibility and conversations around bisexuality, stigma lingers. Some potential partners may assume bisexuality means you’re “confused” or “greedy,” or that you can’t be faithful. None of that is true, but perceptions like those can make dating, or being in a relationship, even more exhausting. No one wants that nagging feeling.
@jonintriago For those of you that ask 🙂 #fypシ #foryou #bisexual #bi #ClearGenius #XfinityFanthem #LeadWithLove
♬ The Magic Bomb (Questions I Get Asked) [Extended Mix] – Hoàng Read
So maybe the real question isn’t when you should tell, but rather: Who deserves to know? Someone who’s worth dating will listen with an open mind. Someone who doesn’t? They’ve saved you time by showing their cards early.
What do you think? If you were in this situation, would you say it on the first date? Would you wait until a connection develops? Or should bisexuality just be treated like any other part of who you are—something you share naturally when it feels right?
Dating while bi is layered, complicated, and sometimes messy. But maybe the best answer is also the simplest: be honest, but also be kind to yourself in the process.