Cruising in public spaces is a gay tradition that dates back to ancient cities. For decades, men have sought fleeting connections in steam rooms, parking lots, and hidden corners, guided by subtle signals and an understanding of the unspoken rules of male intimacy. But in 2023, it seems the once secret world of public cruising might be facing its most significant challenge: the rise of TikTok influencers, a crackdown from law enforcement, and the broader implications of the digital age.
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The Digital Takeover of Cruising
As cruising apps become more mainstream, it’s a fair question to ask: is public cruising dead? With TikTok influencers turning into the Rick Steves of sexual exploration, detailing exactly where and how to get your groove on, it seems there’s a constant pull between the thrill of anonymity and the exposure of a viral post. Jonah Wheeler, aka @showoffjonah on TikTok, is one such influencer who provides practical advice for those hoping to get in on the action. In his video, he describes cruising in a steam room—an age-old tradition—offering tips on how to decipher subtle non-verbal cues: eye contact, towel placement, and even hand gestures.
@showoffjonah look at the time, we haven’t even discussed sight-lines and preventing walk-ins yet #men #mensfitness #lockerroom #cruising
“Cruising in the steam room is a great male tradition. It is also nerve-wracking. You’re in a no-talking space with very subtle signals,” Wheeler explains. His advice is thorough: identify the people not playing, gauge the room for small but significant signals, and only proceed if everyone in the space is on board. “Cruising is only viable if the people that don’t want to see it never see it,” he emphasizes.
The Dangers of Visibility
But this shift to the digital realm brings new questions. Are TikTok videos encouraging this kind of behavior, or is it making cruising too easy, too visible? The answers are murky, but one thing is clear: the anonymity of cruising is slowly fading.
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At the same time, law enforcement is stepping up its crackdown on cruising areas. New York’s Penn Station has seen nearly 200 arrests since June for activities tied to public sex, a statistic that many argue points to an increasing risk for cruisers. Is it possible that the very tradition of public cruising is being dismantled, not only by digital exposure but by legal pressure?
Peak Gay Sluttiness vs. Gatekeeping
The conversation has been amplified by a more recent phenomenon: the “peak gay sluttiness” era. In a time where labels are pushed to their limits, and social media celebrates both the freedom and the dangers of hookup culture, the question arises—should these practices still be gate-kept? Some believe that cruising’s intimate, private nature should remain untouched by the prying eyes of influencers, others feel that the visibility allows more people to explore their sexuality freely.
Wheeler’s steam room advice gets more specific, focusing on how subtle hand gestures and well-timed towel adjustments can signal interest. It’s almost an art form. He adds, “These are very ordinary gestures, but you can do them in response to someone else doing them as a way of communicating non-verbally.” The reality of cruising in spaces like saunas and steam rooms relies on these small moments of tension—where nothing is said, but everything is understood.
The Lowe’s Method: Cruising in Public Spaces
In contrast, the new breed of cruising influencers—like @chasebrody99 on TikTok—take a more playful approach. One of his most popular videos details the art of cruising at Lowe’s, of all places. He teaches his followers how to look the part: “Come dressed like you know your way around wood. Tank. Jeans. Work boots or dirty sneakers. Keep it casual but calculated.” His step-by-step guide is both cheeky and practical: “Flip the brim when you’re ready,” he advises, adding that front-facing is innocent, but a backwards cap signals something far more exciting.
@chasebrody99
There’s a kind of fun in these videos, but also a deeper reflection on how technology has turned cruising from a discreet, underground activity into something that can be shared with thousands, if not millions. With platforms like TikTok, even the most private of acts can find themselves broadcast for public consumption, bringing new possibilities and new risks.
The Future of Cruising
So, is public cruising dead? Not quite, but it’s undeniably changing. The blend of traditional steam room cruising with the new wave of social media exposure raises questions about what is private, what is shared, and whether some things should be kept behind closed doors. One thing is certain: whether in a steam room, a Home Depot aisle, or at a local park, cruising’s future is being redefined at the intersection of tradition, technology, and the law.
And for now, as long as TikTok remains a part of the equation, it seems that cruising will never really be “dead.” It’ll just be more visible—and, perhaps, a bit more regulated.
Source: Gothamist