Do You Find ‘Assertive’ Guys More Attractive Than ‘Vulnerable?’

Michael Henry and John Hartman debate their biggest turn-ons
L-R Michael Henry, John Hartman (images via Instagram)

During a perfectly socially-distanced afternoon in the park, funny guy Michael Henry has a question for John Hartman about the men he’s attracted to.

Before Henry can get to the question, though, we find out Hartman has an ‘issue’ with oversharing on a range of topics including erectile dysfunction, never tipping bartenders, and flatulence in libraries.

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Anyway…

Henry is specifically curious to know if men’s confidence is a turn on for Hartman.

“The reason why I ask is because a good friend of mine told me his number one turn-on when it comes to men is confidence,” explains Henry. “And I thought, ’No, no, no, no, no, no.’”

But Hartman lands on the other side of this spectrum: “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, dummy. Who doesn’t love a confident man?”

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Apparently, not Henry. Which leads Hartman to flip the script and ask, “What do you like then? Insecure, emotionally damaged men…like you?”

Ouch…

Michael Henry likes his men a bit insecure
Michael Henry (screen capture)

The discussion quickly turns into a pros and cons comparison of confidence vs. vulnerability.

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Henry finds men who are sure of themselves in work and life just fine, but really digs guys who are insecure about those things, too.

“Weirdo – I don’t want to hear about his insecurities,” says Hartman. “Don’t tell me you’re uncomfortable with your bald spot or your weight gain. Own it!”

“Nothing makes my d*ck more limp than a guy whining about his misfortunes,” he adds.

Related: Michael Henry Has Become A ‘Winker’

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Hartman admits he’s drawn to a more stereotypic kind of guy as he rattles off qualities like “assertive,” “sturdy,” an achiever of “big things” with a deep voice, a beard and a three-piece suit…although now the conversation is more about masculinity and not confidence.

Obviously, attraction is more than a simple ‘this’ or ‘that’ equation. But Henry raises a valid question about how and what gay men find a turn-on.

Let us know in the comment section, readers – where does confidence land on your dating spectrum?

You can find more of Instinct’s coverage of Michael Henry’s short queries on queer life here.

1 thought on “Do You Find ‘Assertive’ Guys More Attractive Than ‘Vulnerable?’”

  1. I am so very lesbian but i like when someone is insecure about themselves and not too full of it. It gives you an entrance into romance by cheering them up and reassuring them

    Reply

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