Going Out Tonight? 7 Other Places To Look For Your Mr. Right That Aren’t A Bar.

Supposedly Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.  Some of us strike out in the dating game, but continue to do the same thing over and over expecting Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now to fall into our laps or go home with us.  Others are lucky and find a man every time they go out (- this blog isn't for you).

What if you are one of those guys that spends the weekend taking your liver out on the town hoping to find someone to keep you company for the night, week, or the rest of your life, but instead, just wake up with that hangover?  Do you try a different bar? Different city's bar?  Pairedlife.com gives us 7 different places than a bar to find your match.

What follows are seven suggestions for places for gay men to meet a potential boyfriend that do not include a bar or nightclub.

You'll find suggestions you've heard before, some of that are unconventional, and others that may even be silly. But if you're trying to break out of the bars, you may want to give them all a chance. I will add that this list is by no means exhaustive—please feel free to add ideas in the comment section at the end of this article.

You have tried everything else–so what else do you have to lose? Okay—let's look at the list!

1. Dating Apps and Web Sites

Okay, before you roll your eyes too far and start quoting the thousands of articles saying "Grindr killed the gay bars, gayborhoods, and unicorns," hear Pairedlife.com out.  They actually surprised me and told it like it is stating there are more apps out there than Grindr, Scruff,etc., that focus on who's bum will it be tonight. You'll find someone on every single site, hook-up oriented or dating oriented sites, that will lead with a sexting session, but there may be the one out there that is actually looking for the real thing.

1. Dating Apps and Web Sites

You can also check MeetUp for gay groups of common interests in your area. If you like outdoor activities, check out Gay Outdoors.

And here is one final point on this suggestion—while Grindr, Scruff, and other apps are great tools for meeting people, keep in mind that some of these platforms are more sexually charged than others. There is nothing wrong with this but if your goal is to date, using the right app is important.

2. Facebook

Did you know you can search Facebook for people on your friends list that are single? You sure can! Just punch in “single friends” or “my single friends” in the search box and see what comes up. You might be surprised. Of course, identification as single on Facebook depends on what the user indicates in their profile. But using this approach does allow you to see potential candidates. If they are an acquaintance, why not consider going out for a coffee? Later on the both of you might figure out that was your "first" date. Again, what do you have to lose?

They mention other things in their full article about Facebook and searches I did not know about. 

I think one of the biggest reason we like bars and Apps is that there is little to no effort involved and little to no risk.  If it's on an app and you find no one, at least you had some eye candy to look at.  Same with the bars, but you get the added bonus of a drink or 3.

The last five suggestions will actually take some effort.  CRAP!  Kidding.  If you want that significant other that is based on something more than liking the newest Britney dance song or sharing your love for Black Label tequila on the rocks, put some effort into it.

3. LGBQ Events and Fundraisers

Go to the fundraiser with the mindset of supporting the cause you care about, but be open to meeting someone new. Attitude is everything. It was the famous French philosopher Renee Descartes who said, "I think –therefore I am." What do you think?

I think with any of these last 5 options, you will have to be interested in the subject matter.  Definitely choose a cause that you can personally get into and stand behind. If you're excited to help out, be a part of something, that will show, and we all know that happy people are more attractive than unhappy ones. And once again, these will take more time than a bar or an app so know you will be spending time doing something other than drinking and swiping.  Make it worthwhile for everyone.

4. Local Community Classes

5. Volunteer

6. Professional Organizations

Yep, you read that right! A professional organization to which you may already belong likely has a chapter dedicated for LGBT members.

  • Are you a pilot? Why not join the National Gay Pilots Association (NGPA).
  • Are you a lawyer? Do a search on gay lawyer associations and see what pops up. In New York, Chicago, and Los Angeles for example, there are city-focused professional associations for lawyers.
  • Are you a doctor, nurse, physician’s assistant, or therapist? Guess what? There are gay chapters just for LGBT folks.

The point here is that whatever you do for employment, there is likely a professional organization with a gay-focused subdivision. Almost all of them hold events, including socials, mixers, and fundraisers. If you belong to one of these associations, great—your work is half done. If not, why not look for one that fits your particular background?

And then there is number 7 … return to your old Sunday habit you gave up when you moved out of your parents' home. This may be a hard one for some of us, but maybe we should give it a try before we say 1,000% no. 

7. Local Gay-Friendly Church or Spiritual Center

Did you know there are gay communities of Agnostics, Quakers, Pagans, Humanists, and so forth? There sure are! And there are gay atheists who congregate, as well. Take the self-assessment to see where you fit in.

Tips and Pointers:

Obviously, going to a local gay-friendly church or spiritual center should be about your spiritual nourishment and well-being. Think about this first before you decide which venue for spirituality is best for you. However, this does not mean you can’t also meet new people, enjoy deeply meaningful connections, and perhaps bump into your new boyfriend!

There's more to each suggestion on Pairedlife.com so head on over there for all of their advice and suggestions. 

Going back to "Grindr is killing the Gay Bars" comments.  It looks like there may be 6 other contenders that may have led to the so-called demise of the gay bar scene. And what if gay bars decrease?  We should be happy that there are other options than just bars to meet someone to share a moment or a lifetime with.  We should not look at the decrease in bars as a decrease in opportunity, but instead a shift in options that may be more liver friendly.

Another source to find the right one is friends and family setting you up, but that's fodder for a different blog.

So do you fit Albert Einstein's definition of insane?  I think many of us that are searching for Mr. Right and have not found him are a little insane because we may be doing just the bar scene and the apps.  We are thinking our luck will finally change when we swipe or see him.  But if we've been drinking, dancing, and uploading with no luck, it might be time to change our search locations.

Do you agree that these 7 suggestions are good ones to try?

Have you had success in meeting Mr. Right at one of these non-bar alternatives?

h/t:  pairedlife.com

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alberteins133991.html
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/alberteins133991.html

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