Opposite personalities have their ways of attracting one another in the best of ways. That can easily be said about our latest duo featured in Instinct’s ongoing couple series named Ted & Kory.
Ted & Kory’s time began in a pretty normal way by meeting at a gay-themed party before they got into a relationship and eventually made their way down the aisle together. Now they are happily married and navigating the crazy world we live in with their two kitties in The Bronx.
They spoke with Instinct about how it took a little while for them to start dating after their first meeting, how tragedies during COVID brought them even closer together and the important reasons why they love each other so.
How did you two initially meet and was it love at first sight?
We actually met several times before we finally connected. Back during the days of normalcy there used to be this really fun and unusual party at G-Lounge called Nerd. One of the bartenders there, a really sweet guy by the name of Achilles Yeldell, promoted and hosted the gathering which was a much more relaxed event than the others that usually happened there.
I remember the night I first met Kory. It was for one of their zombie parties. Basically you broke out into teams and picked a person to do makeup on and this person would be the one wee’d present as our zombie. The best makeup and “zombie acting” would win a prize. We were on opposing teams, but I do remember having a lot of fun with everyone that night. Neither one of us were on the winning team.
Anyway, fast forward a few months and I was going to a birthday party for a friend’s husband here in the Bronx. It was a fun night and I saw this really familiar face there that I couldn’t quite figure out where I knew him from. During the evening we spoke and chatted and laughed a lot. We walked together to the subway and talked more, but we never exchanged numbers.
Got a Facebook request from him about a week later and we eventually headed to G-Lounge on the same night and decided to meet there. That’s where the sparks flew and we connected. We consider that to be our first date and then we saw each other the next day (Saturday) and again the day after that. The rest, as they say, is history.
What is your favorite thing to love about each other?
Ted: I love that there are still things that are brand new to him. Whether it be because of our cultural differences or because he’s younger, I just love watching him react to these new things and see them from his unique perspective.
Kory: I’m a very cynical person. I tend to focus a lot on the negative aspects of things. I love that Ted keeps me optimistic and hopeful about situations (Like the one the world is in now) and pushes me to keep going and view things in a more positive light plus he always makes me laugh.
Are you monogamous or in an open relationship? How do you make either work?
We are in an open relationship and go about things with very few rules other than to make sure that we keep it to sex only. We don’t go out seeking out other people to sleep with, but if it happens, it happens. The important thing is that we respect each other and our space. It all boils down to trust, respect and communication.
What has COVID been like for the two of you? Has it brought you closer together?
This entire year has been a difficult one on many levels. Back in March I lost my job and by the beginning of April, I had lost my father to the disease. In June, Kory also lost his job and we continued to see the body counts rise. We found ourselves isolated together and while for others it would seem like this could be a very difficult thing, we have a large enough living space that if we needed to be alone, we could be.
Also, we have a definite sense of when one or the other needs space and it doesn’t even need to be said. It has definitely brought us closer together through the sheer trauma that we share of being sick, losing friends and family to the disease and the struggle to try get back to some sense of normal.
Has the topic of adopting or having kids via surrogate ever come up?
Nope. Neither of us has any interest in raising human children. We did just adopt a 6 week old kitten named Loki. Raising him and his step brother, Krueger, is enough for us.
What is the best advice you would give to anyone who is looking for love out there but hasn’t found it?
Ted: Honestly we think the best connections happen when you’re not looking for it. Spend time working on yourself and being comfortable with who you are and what you want to do with your life. The person whose ideals fit with yours will come along at some point. My strongest belief is that what you seek based on want will always evade you. But what you need will find you when you need it most as long as you’re not looking or it.