How Would You Respond To Getting Pepper Sprayed In The Supposed ‘Wrong’ Restroom

I had the pleasure of going to a new bar in Wilton Manors last weekend.  In the place that was Sidelines, then Balls, then The G Spot, a new bar called PINT has opened. It's monopolizing on the semi-new trend of adults playing video games while out enjoying a pint, shot, etc.  I got my DIG DUG on so hard and racked up the top two scores very easily. 

Then it came time to break the seal. I was on a mission that night to use as many as my free drink chips before they expire at the end of the year so there was a flood a comin'.  As I approached the restrooms, I had to reset my bearings to figure out where I could talk to a man about a horse. 

I so had to pee, but then I was forced to read.  Where were the male symbols or female sign.  Were they going to use a picture of Mario and Peach to tell people where to pee?  What was going to be their gimmick?

There was no gimmick, no catch, no cutesy little whatever. There were just simple words. 



So simple, why haven't we thought about this before. Just go into a place where we expel waste water and sit or stand, what ever you need to do.  It's not a voting booth or a political rally.  You are not there to make friends and who strikes up conversations in there.  Just sit/stand and pee.

I went in, stood at the urinal and did what I needed to do in that room.  I was hoping for someone to come in and actually chat, because those signs put a huge smile on my face for their approach and solution to a supposed problem for many out there, letting people pee how they need to, choose to. 

Unfortunately peeing is so political. Model and activist and educator Rain Dove recently had an incident in a bathroom where a mother pepper sprayed them for she thought Rain should not be in the bathroom they were in. 

Rain/They told PinkNews that security came into the restroom and asked if they were okay. The initial reaction was to try and remove Rain from the sink where they were trying to get the pepper spray out, thinking Rain was a man and in the wrong restroom.

Rain Dove added that they didn’t hear anything about the assault after that night until the end of October when mother decided to reach out all over social media to Rain.


Then suddenly out of the blue this person contacted me again. We had a conversation and here’s how it went. We have a Skype convo schedule with a trans friend of mine as well to get another perspective. In exchange we are buying this person lunch via delivery. Just get the education out there. Stop the pain. Stop the violence. Stop the homogenous assessment. See me for my actions not my body. I am an experience. I am intentions. I am an awareness. Not simply flesh. 

What a response.  I think I would not have been as calm, cool, and collected during the event or a month later.  Bravo for Rain for using such words and promoting her approach with the has tags"

#LetMePee #GivePEEceAChance#genderqueer #genderfluid #lgbtq#bathroombreak #trans#transpeoplearepeople #lovewins#seeME #educatedonthate#genderisthematrix #PoopHappens

I'm a new fan of Rain Dove. With their attitude and desire to educate and not hate.  

Here are some of the Instagram posts from Rain Dove's page I wanted to highlight, but go over for yourself and see their approach to life. 





I’m not a boy. I’m not a girl either. I am an I. A Being in a vessel that can not accurately be compared to another Being’s. My genitals are not the same as yours. My kidneys are not the same as yours. My tastebuds are not the same as yours. My nipples are not the same as yours. My toes are not the same as yours. We are not ants. And even they are infinitely different when you look closely. When it comes to labels I let You label me as You see fit. Your definitions are for You to have and they are valid in their own right- You will only know what you allow yourself to know. And if You don’t know me personally it is a natural instinct to fill in the blanks. How You Define me does not Confine me. The label you give me personally does not harm me- it does not enrage me. It does not cause me to lose sleep. It does not cause me to question myself. I have detached from the responsibility to make You feel a certain way or adhere to certain language around me. I’m using that energy to focus on just existing in the best light for me. For You. For us. For them. The only thing You need to know about me if You feel I am an alien thing is simple “I come in Peace”. So please let me be in such as well. I promise I’m likely not a sign of “the end of days” and even if I were and you’re correct then don’t panic. Isn’t the afterlife for believers like You supposed to be perfection? Ps this side by side was one of the first ever made and it just hit 10 MILLION CIRCULATIONS today! #IamI #CleanUpOnAisle7 #lgbtq #genderqueer #genderisthematrix #lovewins #BodiesArentComparable #SayYesToTheDress #youmissedaspot

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It’s #nationalcomingoutday and while it is awesome, that means many many people who feel its unsafe to be ”OUT” are seeing tons of images online from individuals joyfully celebrating their ability to. I remember being in a small town, terrified to be honest about who I was and who I wanted to love. Coming out meant potentially shattering everything I knew- and when You live in the middle of nowhere it can feel like you’re trapped. Unable to escape if things go wrong. These are the environments in which it is the hardest to choose to live. It can feel like this life is the only one you’ll ever have, and it’s so miserable why continue to choose it at all? So for those who can align with this journey, I say hold in there. Not all family is blood. Not every friend you’ll have in a lifetime is in your life right now. There are 7.8 billion people on the planet and growing. There are whole tribes out there waiting for You to find them and join them. We love You. And we are excited to see how You exist on this planet. Hold on just a little longer- there is a purpose You are here. And there is absolutely a better future to come. #WegotYou #educatedonthate #lovewins #lgbtq #genderqueer #genderfluid #trans #queer #wegotyou #loveishere (to clarify for those confused at the use of “tribe” my name Rain Dove comes from our Abenaki medicine woman. It is considered a reclamation of the word for us to affiliate the word “tribe” with inclusiveness, love, ultimate safety and protection. Previously the word was used to oppress and demean by colonizers as if any of a tribe were “uncivilized” but by saying a “tribe” is for anyone seeking safety and love- we re-empower the origin of the word. Not every indigenous tribe feels this way but it’s a practice of our own.)

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Which to wear on my wedding day? What do you think? It’s been long combatted amongst my family and peers which they would see me wear if marriage finds me at some point in life. Arguments heated with indignant rage have swept the room as people express their opinions and reasoning. From “Its tradition” to “Well they are butch so that’s what butches wear” to “Itd be a shame to miss out on the authentic experience every girl gets to have” to “that’s not what God intended” to “Rain is too manly for a dress anyway. It would be too hilarious” who knew a simple outfit could get so political? So, despite the fact that an aisle is not in my immediate future I did some research to determine which would be better for my wallet. The answer was not surprising at all… but the price tags were. The average cost of a wedding in the USA is apparently $32,506 according to several national statistics and the median is $16,774 WHAAAT?! and several traditions suggest the perceived “bride’s” parents pay for most of it. Usually 70-85% in fact! This interestingly enough also may apply to “same sex”/“gender weddings where a human is delegated “the butch” vs the “femme”. On top of that the average cost of a wedding dress is $1100-2500 whereas the average cost of a tux is $400-500. With tux rentals as cheap as $75 for the special day. Hair, makeup, accessories for the “bride” can cost average $650 plus 3-4 hours of prep time. Where as the “groom” pays an average of $80-150 and 1-2 hours max grooming time. Basically- getting married as the “bride” is EXPENSIVE. Far more so than for the “groom”. When I get married (if I choose to do so) and if I’m forced to be the “bride”, I’ll be doing everyone’s wallet and watch a favor by wearing a tux. If not then light up sneakers, ripped Henley shirt and a decent pair of dark jeans with some unicorn patches on them. And I’ll put all that saved money towards charity and the CAKE- which is the most important part anyway. #aDRESSingTheIssue #ReasonsForGlitter #weddingdress #weddingcake #genderqueer #genderfluid #gendercapitalism #educatedonthate #lgbtq #frolic @mannaestore for the @crazyexgalpal @fellstonemanor

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What do you think?