My Neighbor Is Constantly Having Anonymous Sex!
Is It Appropriate To Address An Adult's Sex Life?
#InstinctAfterDark! Okay, so I've written plenty of Instinct After Dark posts, but this one isn't really a naughty fantasy or revelation of my own. Instead, I'm kind of deflecting to the sex life of someone who is literally, close to me. I'm a twenty-something living in West Hollywood, California who definitely is at the bottom of the totem pole in dating brackets. I'm constantly busy with juggling different jobs, I'm more flamboyant than society prefers, and I could probably work out a little bit. I get it: Dating is difficult when you aren't actively putting yourself out there. I've dangled in the realm of dating apps and have had my share of hookups…sometimes because, I just wanted too. Rarely, however, do I not at least want gather details about the person I'm going to be sleeping with. Well, I'm neighbors with someone who definitely doesn't care who steps into his home: He's into anonymous sex.
What is anonymous sex? Well, my definition – which I believe is accurate according to amateur x-rated videos – is one (typically the bottom) is on all fours, blindfolded in a jockstrap; if you're kinky – in a darkened room. The anonymous top will enter through an unlocked door, find the bottom, go to pound town, and leave after he's done. We just discussed this when an anonymous sex club was charging more money for bottoms, so hopefully you're up to date!
How do I know my neighbor is having anonymous sex? Let me school you. I'm a smoker (I know, my mom has already scolded me). I'm often outside of my building in the unofficial smoking area on my phone and observing my humble neighborhood. During evenings and any-hour of the weekend: Men are going in and out the apartment next to mine. They are constant. The men will walk up to the apartment with boners, usually in typical sex attire (sweats/basketball shorts and a tank top), and a paranoia of looking over their shoulder every three seconds. Often, if I'm outside: I'm approached as being the gentleman in apartment number _. I've also had to tell these men where the apartment actually is. I see them give a knock and let themselves in with a turn of the doorknob: Which leads to my neighbor's mutt yapping for the next fifteen minutes until the caller leaves. I call it like I see it: My neighbor is having anonymous sex – and a ton of it.
Why is this becoming an issue for me? I don't live in a fancy condo, so my building is openly outside and easy to enter. My neighbor's entry door is next to mine: We share walls! As I'm standing outside smoking, I'll leave my door unlocked – but still in my view. Twice men have almost walked into my apartment before realizing it's the incorrect one and me shouting from afar. Now, like a responsible adult, I dead bolt my door regardless if I'll be standing outside or not. Occasionally, these gentlemen leaving have tried to get my number after their deed has been done. In one case: A drunk patron told me he was cat-fished. Yikes!
So, this brings me to my dilemma: Should I have a conversation with my neighbor and tell him he's bringing in a lot to my apartment building which has been relatively quiet for the last two years? I know I shouldn't get involved in other people's business, but the whole I could get walked in on at any moment thing is kind of irking me to the point where I feel like I should say something. But, where would I even begin?
Would you confront your neighbor who is addicted to anonymous sex?