Should You Be Upfront About Your “Number”?

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In A World Where Limits May Not Exist, How Much Should You Truthfully Tell Your Partner?


Why does dating have to be so freakin’ complicated?! At first I believed the excuse that dating in the LGBTQ community is harder than in the straight world because we have a smaller sea to find our fish. But no, it turns out that dating in all realms, universes, and sexualities is difficult. I know I’m only 28-years-old, but I feel like I should be in some type of romantic relationship with someone right?! Until that happens, I can only continue to play the field on the playground that is West Hollywood, California.

During my revolving door of daters, there happens to be one that occasionally gives me more butterflies than the last. My latest is someone rather inexperienced not only the gay dating world, but also with the whole intimacy with men. Yes, there are still hidden gems in our community who label themselves as newbies! While the innocence could be endearing, sometimes I wonder if I myself am a bit too experienced.


Back in October 2017, I even had thoughts on when you should discuss your sexual fetishes with a new partner. But, what happens if you don’t even make it that far with someone, you don’t get to that wonderful comfort zone with your partner because you are too afraid to answer all of their curious sex-related questions honestly?

If you’re happy and healthy (physically, mentally, and sexually), should you be required to tell your partner your entire sexual history? Unless there are reasons I need to know, or perhaps would like to partake, I don’t believe I should have a scroll of my partner’s sexual past. It doesn’t matter to me if they have attended orgies, bathhouses, or had sex with a few people in one night. Regardless, I’m not one to judge someone on their past, but I can’t help but feel it’s nobody’s business in general unless it must be discussed.

Why is this a topic bouncing around my head at this time?  This has all come to a boil as I’m having some issues of continuing to speak honestly with my inexperienced date. I don’t know if his prying questions are a means of wanting to get turned on or him searching for a reason to back off.

Do you believe you should be fully honest about your sexual past with a potential partner?  Does it matter if it’s going to be a one night stand or a long-term dating scenario? 


Writer’s Note: This is the opinion of one Instinct Magazine contributor and does not reflect the views of Instinct Magazine itself or fellow contributors.

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