Ready for a few laughs? We can all use some joy these days with the current state of affairs here in the States. Sky high inflation. Don’t Say Gay laws popping up in other states besides Florida. Covid numbers, once again, are on the rise. And add the stress of trying to date during all this? It’s enough to drive someone into celibacy. (someone, not me lol.)
Thortful, an online greeting cards, and marketplace platform just released the TOP 10 FUNNIEST DATING TURN-OFFS. I can only imagine what our Instinct readers can add to this list from personal experience. My friend Nancy, 47, a teacher from Easton, PA told me that once “he wore a sports jersey to a really nice restaurant.” She also said on another date, “He fisted his utensils and used them like a shovel.” People are weird lol. Onto the list!
10. Replying to an IG story with a flame.
OMG, I literally do this all the time. Is this a bad thing? Granted these stories are from random influencers, fitness models, and all-around seriously hot dudes. Who I am definitely not dating. Does this mean I have no chance of dating them? Son of a bitch! (Both of these guys got fire emojis from me today)
9. Dropping some coins and running for them as they roll away
Who carries tons of coins with them anymore…unless you are going to do laundry? Or on the way to play the nickel slots in Atlantic City.
8. Wearing a Vest
Damn, coming for the vests. I am thinking this is more of a hetero one because vests are everywhere in the gay world. {fun fact I tried the hashtag gaysinvests to find some photos to use. I found a few of guys investing money and the rest are guys in tank tops. Are we calling tank tops vests all of a sudden?}
7. When the elevator shuts on them
6. Having kids’ bedding
These two are somewhat confusing. Do they mean someone shutting the elevator door on you as you are running to catch it. Or your date accidentally gets hit by the elevator as its closing? They seem like two very different and distinct possibilities lol.
And the kids’ bedding. I have no words. It’s like when Phoebe signed for Monica’s race car bed on an episode of Friends.
5. When they type ‘hehe’ in the text message
Yeah, this one is annoying, I don’t know if I would dump someone I just started dating over it. I am more of an ‘hahahahaha’ person. And if that makes me undateable so be it!
4. Asking the bartender what the cheapest beer is
Oof that’s bad. Again times are tough. But do some research on the place beforehand or make it a Happy Hour date.
3. Goatees
Oh, goatees like on your face! Hand to God search Instagram under the hashtag #goatees and its goats for days! That being said, I am all in on a hot dude with a goatee on his face.
2. Mullets
’nuff said
And the number one funniest dating turn-off according to Google searches and 2,000 people surveyed is…
1. When their Mom washes their clothes for them
Think maybe sometimes gay men have a special relationship with their moms and let them do their laundry? If he’s hot and nice and fun I might let this one slide. Maybe this is why I am still single!
These seem tailored a little more to a hetero relationship, just a hunch! Let’s get some Queer Dating Funniest Turn-Offs…sound off in the comments below. We want to hear your disastrous, but funny, dating horror stories. Sound off in the comments below. And good luck out there!
{**This post is solely the opinion of this contributing writer and may not reflect the opinion of other writers, staff, or owners of Instinct Magazine.”}
Sources: Thortful
In the UK they call tank tops vests.