Forget the awkward meet-the-parents moment. If you want to know whether you’re truly an ally, there’s a far more telling test—dinner with the gay best friend.
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Last week, actor and comedian Benito Skinner (aka Benny Drama), known for his hilarious role in the sitcom Overcompensating, dropped a truth bomb on his podcast Ride (co-hosted by the equally sharp Mary Beth Barone) that had us all rethinking our social strategies. According to Skinner, a dinner with a girl’s gay best friend is not only crucial—it might just be the ultimate litmus test for any straight guy hoping to be seen as an ally.
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“I think my message to all straight men is, a dinner with a girl’s gay is much more important than you think it is,” Skinner said, making it clear Overcthat this gathering carries far more weight than we might think. “Some would say more important than a dinner with her father.”
For those of us who’ve sat through countless awkward dinners with in-laws or that one super opinionated aunt, this is a bold statement. But the more we think about it, the more it makes sense. A dinner with the gay best friend is a delicate dance of compatibility, respect, and how well you can order pasta without tripping up in front of a seasoned connoisseur of LGBTQ+ culture.
The Pasta Test: An Ally’s True Measure
Benito’s idea of a true ally test doesn’t stop at the basic “are you nice to people?” It extends into the nuanced world of pasta. “There is no better way to tell if someone is an ally than by their choice in pasta… fusilli is a red flag,” says Skinner.
In other words, if you choose fusilli over any other pasta, you might as well hang up your ally card. It’s a subtle (yet very important) marker in the game of dinner diplomacy. Sure, fusilli might be fun to look at, but is it the type of pasta you want your gay best friend to judge you for when you take your first bite? We think not.
Benito Skinner: Playing a Gay Character, Living a Gay Reality
While Benito Skinner’s comedic takes on queer life are sharp, witty, and undeniably relatable, his role in Overcompensating takes things even further. Skinner, who is openly gay in real life, plays a closeted version of himself in college, grappling with his sexuality and the expectations placed on him. This semi-autobiographical character is one of self-discovery, awkward moments, and the hilariously real struggles of being a queer person in an often heteronormative world.
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“I completely agree, yeah,” chimed in Mary Beth Barone, co-host and Overcompensating co-star, further backing up Skinner’s thesis that relationships with a girl’s gay best friend matter—a lot. And let’s face it, if the chemistry is right between you, your girlfriend, and her gay bestie, it could be the start of something really beautiful—like a friendship that’s solid enough to withstand any awkward pasta choices.
Benito sums it up best with a line that, frankly, we should all be taking notes on: “You know, straight men get a thousand spots.” Think about that for a second. Straight men are handed opportunity after opportunity in every scenario, whether it’s relationships, friendships, or simply being part of the dominant culture. But when it comes to true allyship, earning that spot doesn’t always come easy. It involves respect, sensitivity, and yeah, knowing the difference between a fusilli and a better pasta option.
So, What’s the Verdict?
The truth is, a dinner with the gay best friend isn’t just some quirky challenge—it’s a deeper reflection of a person’s values. If you’re a straight guy trying to navigate that tricky landscape of allyship, pay attention. It’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not—it’s about showing up, being respectful, and yes, ordering the right pasta. If you can handle that dinner with grace, you might just earn yourself a gold star from your girlfriend’s gay best friend. And that’s worth more than any awkward, fusilli-filled dinner with her dad.
So, fellas, next time you’re invited to the table, bring your best self—and maybe skip the fusilli. If Benito Skinner’s character in Overcompensating has taught us anything, it’s that authenticity and effort go a long way—whether you’re figuring out your sexuality or just trying to get through dinner without offending anyone.
In the end, it’s not just about the pasta—it’s about the connections you’re willing to build and the respect you’re willing to show. So, go ahead, take a seat at the table. We’re watching closely, but don’t worry—you’ve got this.