I love when two of my favorite things combine into one masterpiece. In this case, I’m talking about scary movies… and dick. Variety and Bloody Disgusting announced today that a new movie, titled Astrolatry, is heading to the market in May and it’s a horror-thriller about, quite literally, a killer penis. Now, I know the concept as a whole seems a little silly, but Astrolatry is going to Cannes and that’s the top of the top, so it’s got to be good!
According to Bloody Disgusting, Astrolatry follows “a chronic masturbator whose obsession with a beauty cream model propels him into violent delusions, culminating in an accidental castration. His severed penis becomes sentient, embarking on a psychosexual killing spree.” Sounds like something I would have dreamed up in college or a skit from Monty Python back in the day, not that I’m complaining. But now I have so many questions.
Is the killer cock flaccid and flopping around while killing people? Does it grow in measure to be the size of a baseball bat, or does it stay as a modest 5-6 inches? How does it get around exactly, does it grow arms and legs? How does it kill people outside of choking them or anal bleeding? I guess all my questions will be answered when Astrolatry heads to Cannes May 16-17, 2026. And I cannot wait to read the reviews that come out of the event!
Astrolatry is the feature length debut of writer-director David Gordon – whose worked on dozens of horror films over the last decade and a half. Who knew his big break would be a narrative about a big dick? Confirmed cast members include Ethan Daniel Corbett, Milena Abilova, Isabel Fugatt, Aaron Groben, Michael Mau, Christine Schlehuber and Kristin Lorenz. Check out the entire cast and crew here.
In an interview with Variety, writer-director David Gordon says the movie “seeks to satirize the ‘nice guy’ trope and toxic masculinity by positioning them as parallel phenomena both leading to the objectification of others.” Not sure I’m looking for any sort of deeper meaning in a movie about a severed killer penis, but it’s nice to know Gordon tried to work some sort of thematics to the story. However, I will wholeheartedly have my butt in a theater seat (or my couch, if it goes on demand) to see what wacky sort of adventure this will become.
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Are you planning on seeing the killer penis movie when it comes out? What are some of your favorite body horror films? I seem to vaguely recall an older movie about a giant killer boob and the Wadzilla segment from 2011’s Chillerama. But, hey, yeah, I bet you never thought you’d be reading an article like this today. And I bet you it’s just enough to have you waiting for the release of Astrolatry in the coming months.
