Bisexual Visibility Day arrives every Sept. 23, which seems like a pretty good excuse to retire one of the most exhausting expectations attached to bisexuality: the idea that bisexual people have to prove they’re equally attracted to everyone.
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First observed in 1999, the annual observance was created to recognize bisexual people and encourage greater visibility and acceptance. More than two decades later, bisexuality is certainly more visible in mainstream culture. Yet visibility comes with its own strange little rulebook, especially when people start acting as though someone’s sexuality needs to be demonstrated in a very specific way.
Apparently, liking more than one gender isn’t enough. Now you need charts, receipts and perhaps a PowerPoint presentation.
No One Needs a 50/50 Attraction Spreadsheet
One of the easiest ways to misunderstand bisexuality is to assume the word “bi” means attraction has to be perfectly divided down the middle. It doesn’t.
A bisexual person doesn’t need to be equally attracted to men and women at all times. They don’t need to alternate between genders like they’re following a rotating schedule. Their attractions can change, overlap, vary in intensity or simply refuse to fit into somebody else’s neat little percentage system.
That should not be particularly revolutionary. People aren’t calculators, and sexuality isn’t an accounting exercise.
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Yet bisexual people can still find themselves being asked to prove that their attraction to multiple genders is “real” enough. If someone has mostly dated men, people may question whether they’re really attracted to women. If they’ve mostly dated women, the same scrutiny can arrive from the other direction.
Suddenly, everyone has become an auditor.
Your Dating History Isn’t Your Sexuality
Another strange habit is treating someone’s relationship history like a biography of their sexuality.
A bisexual person who has spent years dating one gender can still be bisexual. Someone who has never dated a particular gender can still be attracted to that gender. And someone who is currently in a relationship doesn’t suddenly become a different sexuality because their partner happens to be a man or a woman.
A relationship tells you who someone is dating. It doesn’t automatically tell you the complete story of who they can be attracted to.
That distinction matters because bisexual people shouldn’t have to maintain a perfectly balanced dating résumé just to satisfy everyone else’s expectations.
Bisexuality Doesn’t Need to Look a Certain Way
Maybe the biggest visibility problem isn’t that bisexual people are completely absent. It’s that people still expect bisexuality to come with a recognizable look, personality or lifestyle.
A bisexual person can be quiet or outgoing. They can be married or single. They can love casual dating or hate it. They can have a long-term partner, date nobody for years or fall for one person and stay there. None of those things cancel out the bisexual part.
And that’s worth remembering on Bisexual Visibility Day. Representation isn’t only about seeing more bisexual people. It’s also about getting rid of the expectation that all those people should somehow look alike.
Because if visibility only counts when bisexuality is obvious to everyone else, that’s not really visibility. That’s another form of gatekeeping.
So rather than trying to decide what bisexuality is supposed to look like, why not look at some of the prominent people who have publicly talked about their own bisexual identities?
10 Prominent Bisexual People to Know
1. Tyler Blackburn
The Pretty Little Liars and Roswell, New Mexico actor publicly opened up about his bisexuality in 2019, adding his voice to conversations about bisexual men and representation.
2. Lady Gaga
Gaga has spoken publicly about her attraction to women and men and has long been part of conversations around bisexual visibility in mainstream pop culture.
3. Billie Joe Armstrong
The Green Day frontman has openly identified as bisexual, making him one of the most recognizable male musicians to have spoken publicly about bisexuality.
4. Aubrey Plaza
The Parks and Recreation star has openly discussed her attraction to women and men, becoming another familiar name in conversations about bisexual representation.
5. Alan Cumming
Cumming has been open about identifying as bisexual for years and has spoken about sexuality as something that doesn’t necessarily fit neatly into a straight-or-gay binary.
6. Megan Fox
Fox has publicly discussed her attraction to women as well as men and has described herself as bisexual, making her one of the most recognizable actresses associated with bisexual visibility.
7. François Arnaud
Known for roles including The Borgias and Schitt’s Creek, Arnaud has openly identified as bisexual and spoken about his sexuality publicly.
8. Nico Tortorella
The Younger actor has publicly identified as bisexual and has spoken openly about sexuality, attraction and the limitations of rigid labels. The fact that he also happens to be extremely easy on the eyes is simply a pleasant bonus.
9. Kit Connor
The Heartstopper star publicly came out as bisexual in 2022 after facing pressure online to disclose his sexuality, sparking wider conversations about why people shouldn’t be pushed into announcing personal identities before they’re ready.
10. Halsey
Halsey has publicly discussed being bisexual and has spoken about sexuality and identity throughout their career, adding another major music name to the broader conversation around bisexual visibility.
Bisexual Visibility Day doesn’t need to come with a checklist.
You don’t need an equal number of exes from different genders. You don’t need to dress a certain way. You don’t need to demonstrate attraction on demand. And you certainly don’t need to convince a stranger that your sexuality is mathematically balanced.
Bisexuality doesn’t have to be 50/50. It just has to belong to the person living it.