Would You Date Someone Disabled?
Andrew Gurza describes his life as being a queer man with cerebal palsy in his interview with NNN.
"In 1995, when I was 11 years old, Christopher Reeve was paralyzed. On a nightly newscast shortly after the accident, I was mesmerized by his presence onscreen. I don’t remember exactly what he was wearing, or which newscast it was, or even what he said. I just remember lying in bed watching, grinning ear to ear. Seeing him smile as he sat in his electric wheelchair—the same one I had—I felt as if I knew this man better than anyone else. Here was a Hollywood legend, an actor who personified one of the most iconic, superhuman characters in pop culture, existing in a body that looked like mine."
Gurza describes having only the hunky men of Queer As Folk to look up to as a maturing queer man.
"With no examples to look to, I—like many gay men—latched onto the groundbreaking Queer As Folk as my entry way into understanding queerness. While it was validating to see men explore their sexuality so freely, the show sent me a strong message: Abled bodies were muscled and desired, they could dance and make love. My disabled body could do none of these things."
His interview becomes personal as he discusses his sex life!
"Over the years, I’ve playfully labeled myself as my lover’s “first queer cripple,” a juvenile way to poke fun at my own identity so that the guy I was laying next to in bed wouldn’t. Various men have told me: “Having sex with you wouldn’t bother me at all” and “I don’t know why, but I find myself very attracted to you.” And the ultimate killer: “Being with you wasn’t so bad.” Most of the time I hear these words and say nothing in return, perhaps believing I do not deserve to defend myself and my body. But when I do receive a positive, genuine comment about my appearance, I struggle to listen to its truth and kindness, fearing the shred of vulnerability it requires of me: I can be wanted by somebody else."
Gurza begs the question…are we all afraid of dating someone disabled?
Check out Gurza's revealing article here!