When I was younger, I fought the idea of being gay, most of us did. Since it was such a social no-no, and it didn't come with a promise of roses and unicorns and yellow brick roads for my future, I didn't want to be gay. And the thought of anal sex was like "what am I signing up for? If I find sex with women parts repulsive, why would I swap over to anal with a man?" Talking with many gay men, young and old, throughout my life, many said they remember thinking butt play was a totally disgusting thought, giving or receiving, but this belief was just a phase. We all would find our position in life and in the bedroom eventually. Some of us find immense pleasure in and only sleep on the bottom bunk, some only on the top, and some that like sleepovers on any bunk that might be available.
But there are some of us that still feel butt play of any kind is just not for them. And there is nothing wrong with that at all. There's nothing wrong with ANY of that at all. Unless you're a g0y.
Many men long for the gentle closeness of the intense friendships of their youth, but feel ashamed because they've been told that 'such intimacy with other guys is "gay".' G0YS: Reclaiming M2M Intimacy; -Denouncing gAy decadence! – PhiRhoTau
And here I was a fan of decadence, especially if it is in New Orleans during Labor Day weekend. But then I looked up decadence –
moral or cultural decline as characterized by excessive indulgence in pleasure or luxury. – Google dictionary
Blessed with above-average looks & an alpha personality, I've had a the opportunity to experience first hand what so many men won't admit happens among themselves & other guys. Since becoming sexually mature, I've realized that I bonded emotionally with other guys & I enjoy the physical aspect of close relationships. I'm attracted to an honest, masculine personality. "Effeminate men" are a turn off — no matter how good they look (If I wanted a girlie, I'd date one). Associating with athletes regularly, -I was always around "tough guys", & in the mind of most of my peers, — I was one as well. My experiences with so-called "straight guys" (who turned out to be "g0y") are fairly numerous, & started early on. Unlike the 'gay culture' (portrayed in the media as all about "painted nails" & the next piece of tail), — my private, physical relationships with my buds was never considered "casual"; –& the level of friendship's bonds remains the deepest & most intimate even till this day. – www.g0ys.org
I don't mind men being confident in who they are, but when they proclaim 'blessed with above-average looks & an alpha personality' as this g0y did, yeah, he just became a big zero. I am sure we've all been on a date before with someone you've been eyeing for a while, wanted to spend some time with, and then they talk like this one? If only there was a delete button we could carry with us in public and have it work.
Another statement from their website reads:
G0YS are among the healthiest men of any demographic on the planet, & sexually transmitted diseases are a virtual non-issue. How can this be? G0YS, by our very nature, reject ALL anal-fetish related acts! And, we strongly discourage physical intimacy with others who reject our mindset. – www.g0ys.org
Once again, I am all for you knowing what goes in and what comes out where, but is this bottom shaming to the extreme? This seems to be one of the issues addressed when Nurse Jackie Star Haaz Sleiman Comes Out As Gay And A Total Bottom. There is a stigma that some people hold against bottoms in our community. Apparently there's a whole sub section of self-defined pretty alpha males that feel they are better then the rest of the gay community and they have a group.
But if they hate what the word gay has come to represent, why would they still use the g and the y and put a big zero in it? I guess it is in place of the 'A' for ass or anal, Zero anal in their group?
All I can say is good for you. You know you don't like any type of anal or the idea of it. The g0y group tries to back up their belief and their 'mental trait' by saying it lowers their risk of perilous sexually transmitted diseases vs. the men who call themselves "gay!"
I am sure these beautifully blessed and above average men are smart enough to realize that STDs can be passed without and don't need anal penetration but are also passed by bumping, grinding, oral, and the exchange of fluids. But then again, they chose a zero to be in their group's name.
So they're not gay, but g0y. What else do they call themselves?
G0YS tend to be libertarian or anarchist, pro-life, soberly-minded, culturally rounded, analytical, logical, alpha-personalities & intellectually – above average. And that's a great group of men to identify with.
What other names do we want to associate with this group? No, it's not nice to put labels on people, but the words that came to mind when I talked about this with others were homophobes, children, internalized homophobia, bi-deniers, and elitists.
To be honest, I am still not a fan of anal sex and experience it maybe once a year. It's not for me and especially not for me outside of a relationship. But I respect others in our LGBT community that have found their own ways, positions, which bunk(s) if any, found the pleasure they need, and the happiness we all deserve.
If this group doesn't want to be associated with the gays, are they still LGBTQ? If they are not wanting to respect all the colors of are spectrum, are they part of our family?
The opinions expressed here by Instinctmagazine.com columnists are their own, not those of Instinctmagazine.com.