Gardening Gays Farm in the early hours of Wednesday morning brought an all-too-familiar kind of hate. As Democrats across Virginia celebrated a historic electoral victory, Kevin Graham and his husband Dragan Kurbalija woke up to find their farm, located in the traditionally conservative King George County, had once again been vandalized. This time, the attack was especially vile.
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“It’s medical waste that is strewn all the way across the entrance of our farm,” Graham told The Advocate. “There are bedsheets that have human feces and urine on them. You can smell the human waste while you’re out there standing near it.”
The couple, who had purchased the 27-acre farm four years ago, immediately recognized this as an intentional act of anti-LGBTQ+ hate. “It does not appear to be an accident,” Graham said, adding that the road leading to their farm was otherwise spotless. “You look up and down the roadway, and everywhere else is completely clear. The trash is only at our entrance.”
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Not only does this latest attack feel like a direct message, but the timing of the vandalism also seemed too precise to be coincidental. While Virginians celebrated the political shift—a blue wave that saw former U.S. Representative Abigail Spanberger’s victory as the state’s first female governor and Democrats reclaiming legislative seats—this particular attack hit differently for the couple. “It definitely feels personal,” Kurbalija added, pointing out the unlikely possibility that someone would go to the trouble of collecting human waste and driving it miles to dump it.
Not Their First Rodeo
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time Graham and Kurbalija had dealt with harassment. In fact, the couple had already found trash scattered across their farm’s entrance weeks earlier. The first incident, while unsettling, was chalked up to a possible isolated event. But after the second attack, the message felt louder, more deliberate. Kurbalija posted a video on the farm’s Facebook account saying, “It seemed like an isolated incident, perhaps. But today, this is very intentional, very deliberate.”
@gardeninggays We feel attacked. Someone trashed our front yard with medical waste and human feces. @FOX 5 DC News @WTVR CBS 6 @nbc12newsandweather @NBC Nightly News
Despite the maliciousness of the act, it didn’t shake their resolve. In fact, it may have just steeled their determination. “We don’t lean into or talk politics with anybody,” Graham explained, “But the fact that this happens after an election day, with what took place here in Virginia last night, really rubs you the wrong way even more than it would’ve on any other regular Wednesday.”
Community Support: A Silver Lining
But despite the obvious hatred, the couple remains unwavering in their belief that they have the support of the larger community. And it’s clear that many of their neighbors are ready to back them up. Graham added, “They have our back, and there are people in this town who speak up for us when we’re not in the room.”
Perhaps that’s the most surprising twist to the story: In a county where a controversial anti-trans campaign managed to help elect Winsome Earle-Sears as the state’s first Black lieutenant governor, Gardening Gays Farm has managed to thrive. In fact, the farm was recently awarded King George County’s “Overall Best Business,” “Best Family-Owned Business,” and “Best Agricultural Business” titles.
@gardeninggays Welcome to our litlle farm #shoplocal #farm #fall #farmanimals #fun
Still, there’s something uniquely beautiful about how the farm, despite being a target for hatred, has transformed into a symbol of resilience. Graham and Kurbalija didn’t just create a farm; they created a space where they belong. It’s an unapologetically queer business in a place where they could have easily been unwelcome.
“We came, pulled up our boots, and got right to work,” Kurbalija said in the Facebook video. “Providing a safe space, providing a service, providing something that we thought this community needed and wanted. None of this is ever going to stop us from what we’re doing.”
The Power of Visibility
So why Gardening Gays Farm? The name itself is a statement. “We wanted to make it clear who we are,” Kurbalija explains. It’s a reminder that, no matter where they are, they won’t hide who they are—something that’s clearly been part of the farm’s charm for so many. And while the attacks may have intensified, they’ve only made the couple more determined to continue their work.
In a time when being visible and unapologetic can sometimes feel like an act of rebellion, Gardening Gays Farm is planting roots in more ways than one.
They may have been targeted by hate, but they’ve already shown that their farm is growing something far more powerful than anyone’s negativity could ever destroy: a community of love, support, and an unshakeable commitment to being exactly who they are, in every way that matters.
Source: KGVA