By now, you’ve heard: George Santos — disgraced former Republican congressman, compulsive fabulist, queer cautionary tale, and part-time drag queen Kitara Ravache — has been sentenced to 87 months in prison. That’s just over seven years to reflect on a spectacular flameout.
Let’s be clear: Santos didn’t fall from grace. He backflipped into scandal, landed on a pile of designer receipts, and rolled straight into federal prison. If it wasn’t real life, it’d be camp.
At his sentencing in Central Islip, N.Y., Judge Joanna Seybert handed him the max requested by prosecutors — a fierce 7 years and 3 months — citing crimes including wire fraud, identity theft, and money laundering. Also, for the culture: theft of public funds and Botox while broke.
Santos showed up alone, which, if we’re being honest, was poetic. “Too embarrassed, too ashamed,” he wrote to the court. “This is mine to deal with and mine alone.” At last — a moment of sincerity? Or was it just the theater kid in him, taking one last dramatic solo?
Federal prosecutors weren’t buying the redemption arc. They called out his post-indictment social media spree, where he accused the Justice Department of being “a cabal of pedophiles” and styled himself a martyr of the MAGA elite. Not exactly the energy of someone seeking forgiveness.
“True remorse isn’t mute,” Santos countered in his letter. “It is aware of itself, and it speaks up when the penalty scale jumps into the absurd.”
Cute try, George. But the court wasn’t persuaded by poetic monologues.
In addition to prison, he’s been ordered to pay over $370,000 in restitution and surrender more than $205,000 — money he siphoned from donors to fund high-end shopping sprees, Botox, and even OnlyFans subscriptions. (Yes, you read that right: taxpayer-funded thirst traps.)
RELATED: From Congress to OnlyFans: George Santos’ Wild Ride
Santos was booted from Congress last December following a brutal Ethics Committee report. Only six members in U.S. history have been expelled, and he’s now one of them — no small feat in a chamber where ethics violations usually get you a committee chair, not the door.
And then there’s the queer part of this story — complicated, painful, and frankly, infuriating.
Santos claimed to be the first out gay Republican elected to Congress. But instead of representing LGBTQ+ people with integrity, he became a one-man pride parade of deception, aligning with far-right policies and spreading lies that included falsely saying he lost employees at the Pulse nightclub shooting. That statement — exploitative, disrespectful, and outright false — struck a raw nerve in a community that knows real loss all too well.
He leaned on his Latine and gay identity as both shield and sword, weaving it into his image even as he betrayed the very people he claimed to represent. That betrayal hits hard. Because being gay in politics — especially in the Republican Party — takes guts. But it also demands honesty. And Santos gave us theater, not truth.
After being expelled, he tried pivoting to podcasting, Cameos, and even attempted to revive Kitara Ravache — the drag persona he previously denied (before videos of her in a feathered lewk surfaced faster than you can say “RuPaul subpoena realness”). But critics saw through it, calling his rebrand what it was: a last-ditch grift, not a redemption arc.
“Santos made a mockery of our election system,” prosecutors wrote in their sentencing memo. “His actions speak louder than any words, and they cry out for a significant carceral sentence.”
And now, the curtain closes. The wigs go back in the drawer. The OnlyFans account, presumably, gets canceled. Santos is headed for a place where costume changes are limited, and sequins are contraband.
Let this be a lesson, not just in politics but in pride: You can be messy. You can be fabulous. But if you’re going to represent the gays — don’t lie, don’t steal, and please, for the love of Cher, don’t defraud donors to pay for Botox.
Justice may be blind, but even she’s raising an eyebrow at this one.
So, Kitara, wherever you are — may your prison orange be color-blocked, your cellblock lip-syncs be fierce, and your memoir be better fact-checked than your résumé.
Shall we call it “Santos: The Musical”? Or is the tragedy enough?
Gives us a bad name. Unfortunately we are held to high standards.
Despicable human being, very in class with the party he repped. Hope he has a rough go in prison.
Hey stold money from a war vet to save his dogs life for an operation . Kept the money and lied. The war vets dog died. He is absolutely not redeemable. So vile.