The way people fall in love can happen in so many ways nowadays thanks to how we operate in the physical and digital world. Apps like Facebook, Scruff and Grindr have become the norm for us to meet up with another person whether it be a friendly date, a f**k buddy or something much more serious depending on the situation.
Social media was the catalyst for couple Craig & Ray to initially meet online although it took quite a long time to link up in the real world before things became solidified between them as a duo.
In our latest Instinct Couple Series we head north to Montreal to chat with these two beautiful human beings about how the internet played an important part in the start of their relationship as well as what COVID did to help strengthen them and why they prefer to be “daddies” right now as opposed to “dads”.
How did you two initially meet and was it love at first sight?
Craig: We actually met on Facebook long before we met in person! I saw a sweet post Ray shared about a young family friend that was struggling with their gender identity. So I wrote to tell him how kind and loving he seemed (It certainly didn’t hurt how sexy he was too!). It was almost a year before we met in person, so to say it was love at first sight is an understatement.
What is your favorite thing to love about each other?
Craig: I have never met someone so fiercely protective of the people he loves. Every day he shows me how to stand up for what you believe in. He also constantly challenges himself to keep growing in life. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s an amazing kisser.
Ray: He makes me laugh. Every. Single. Day. And, I LOVE his smell.
Are you monogamous or in an open relationship? How do you make either work?
Craig & Ray: We are monogamous in all the ways we need to be so we can feel safe and protect each other. There are boundaries we have agreed not to cross. We call it “protecting our castle”. Complete respect & transparency is what makes it work. We come first above all. The rest is just bonus fun.
What has COVID been like for the two of you? Has it brought you closer together?
Craig: Honestly, great! With me working from home, and his film industry shutting down for the summer, I got to spend every day with my best friend. We found new ways to enjoy our time together that actually helped us grow closer. We took up biking and spent much of the summer exploring Montreal, which was amazing for a new transplant like me.
Has the topic of adopting or having kids via surrogate ever come up?
The subject has come up several times. I know we both would make great dads. We both had amazing fathers growing up. They taught us how to be good, honest and kind men. But we felt that at this stage (and age) of our lives, we prefer to be Daddies in other ways.
What is the best advice you would give to anyone who is looking for love out there but hasn’t found it?
Understand that you are enough. Don’t compromise or settle who you are in order to fit in for someone’s idea of who they think you should be. In our past relationships, we’ve both compromised in hopes we will be enough for someone and in the end, we ended up being unhappy. Be confident in you. Be who you are and accept only what’s right for you. Mama Ru is right – if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else?