If you’ve scrolled through a dating app lately, chances are you’ve come across the words “ethically non-monogamous” or “polyamorous.” Maybe you’ve even paused, thought “Huh?” and swiped on. But hold that thought—because millions of Americans are opening up to something new: love that doesn’t come in twos.
Meet Cam, Bryan, and Tristan. What started as a casual app chat turned into dinner, then weekends together… and then eight years of love, laughter, and shared bills in a cozy NYC apartment. Yes, they’re a throuple. And no, this isn’t a wild reality show pitch—it’s real life. It’s love, just with three people instead of two.
RELATED: Three Colombian Men Become First Legal Polyamorous Family
Cam McDonald and Bryan Lowder were already married when Cam met Tristan Chirico. It started off casual. Then fun. Then meaningful. Eventually, it became undeniable: they weren’t just friends—they were falling in love, all three of them. “I just had never felt that connection with anyone before Brian or after, until I met Tristan,” McDonald shared with LGBTQ Nation. The heart knows what it wants.
But even with years of commitment, joint expenses, and a real sense of home, the law doesn’t see them as a family. If something happened to Tristan, Cam and Bryan wouldn’t have visitation rights. If Bryan and Cam died, Tristan couldn’t stay in the apartment—despite helping pay the mortgage. Ouch.
And they’re far from alone. Experts estimate around 4–5% of U.S. adults are currently in non-monogamous relationships, and a whopping 1 in 5 Americans has tried it at some point. Millennials? Even more open: 31% say they’re in a non-monogamous setup right now.
So why isn’t the law catching up?
Let’s jet over to Colombia real quick, where three men—actor Victor Hugo Prada, sports coach John Alejandro Rodriguez, and journalist Manuel Jose Bermudez—made history by becoming the country’s first legally recognized polyamorous family. They signed documents officially establishing them as a household, complete with inheritance rights. “It is the first time in Colombia that has been done,” Prada beamed. A win for love—and for paperwork!
Polyamory isn’t about chaos or wild orgies (though, you do you). It’s about consent, honesty, and building relationships that work for everyone involved. Activist and lawyer Diana Adams says it’s also about redefining what “family” means. It can be three people. Or four. Or maybe your ex, your co-parent, and your best friend who shows up with soup when you’re sick. That’s valid.
Photo Credit: @three_dads_and_a_baby
Still, legal roadblocks are real. In the U.S., poly families can’t file joint taxes or get shared health insurance. But activists are pushing change—some cities like Cambridge and Somerville in Massachusetts now recognize poly partnerships. Slowly, hearts and laws are shifting.
RELATED: The Most Perfect Advice Given on Going From Couple to Throuple
The truth? Love isn’t one-size-fits-all. And while polyamory isn’t for everyone, it is for some—and it deserves dignity, respect, and legal recognition too.
So the next time you see “ENM” or “poly” in someone’s profile, maybe don’t swipe left so fast. You might just be looking at a new kind of love story.
REFERENCE: LGBTQ Nation, The Telegraph UK