Story was originally posted on December 13, 2018 and has been edited for the big VD.
As the commercialized Valentine's Day is celebrated and gifts are given, you may still be shopping around for the perfect thing to give that special person in your life. And what do you give the person who has everything? Why not give them a piece of you that you’ve never possibly given anyone before. I’m talking about your asshole. Okay, maybe you’ve given that part to someone before, but has it ever been dipped in chocolate? Okay, so maybe it has—but have you ever had a chocolate mold made out of your actual anus? There, I stumped you.
Magnus Irvin and Michael Ritzema are the founders of Edible Anus, a company that started in 2006 in London and has been creating sweet chocolatey treats from the rears of clients for over a decade. Finally, we can actually say “Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made”—literally.
On its website, the company says:
Rings of succulent chocolate lovingly cast and crafted from the delectable posterior of our stunning butt model. This luxury chocolate is unique and manufactured entirely in the UK. Watch Grandma’s face light up as she unwraps a homely selection of chocolate cracks. The perfect gift for all the family.
We also believe the anus range can dissolve cultural boundaries of race, gender, class, and sexual orientation. So spread the joy, and let’s help the world to LOVE EACH OTHER & LOVE THE ANUS.
Now you can finally take satisfaction in eating someone! I wonder if they're filled with cream?
The company sells premiere dark, milk, and white chocolate that melt in your mouth. So the next time he complains that you haven’t gotten it bleached, you can honestly say “It’s not dark. It’s Dove.”
And if asshole chocolate isn’t your thing—they also sell solid silver and bronze anuses for the person in your life who loves precious and shiny things.
So if you’re looking for something truly unique, get them some candy that doesn’t come from the heart—but from your ass.
Applicants should get a Brazilian before appointments and those who are more experienced in the bedroom should plan to stay an extra hour or so.
Chocolate kiss, honey? More like a chocolate rose, honey! Honey!
Now that’s some sweet ass candy! Happy VD!
h/t: Edible Anus