Some athletes warm up by stretching. Some listen to pump-up playlists. And then there’s Philadelphia Phillies right fielder Bryce Harper, who apparently prefers to… get a feel for things.
With the Phillies’ big series-opener against the Washington Nationals coming up on August 21, Harper’s likely bringing back the pregame ritual that’s had the internet clutching its pearls—and a few other things.
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In a video posted by @nbcsphilly, Harper confidently strolls through the dugout, giving each teammate a high five. Cute, wholesome. But then—without missing a beat—he follows it up with a straight-faced bulge grab. Not just on himself, but on his teammates too, and vice versa! It’s like a choreographed routine: high five, grab. High five, grab. All executed with the kind of serious expression you’d expect at a royal coronation, not a baseball game.
@houseofhighlights Bryce Harper’s pre game handshake 🤣 @MLB @NBC Sports #baseball #handshake #aura
The gays (and let’s be honest, the internet in general) went feral. Comments rolled in instantly:
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“Was this supposed to be a cup ceck lmao”
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“Let’s play balls!”
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“Safety first” — a PSA and a mood.
- “Bryce Harper’s pre game handshake is pure confidence and respect all in one move”
The magic is in the execution. Nobody laughs. Nobody flinches. It’s all business—if your business involves making sure everyone’s… secure. It’s the kind of straight-man comedy (pun fully intended) that works because they’re so committed.
Bryce Harper made an electric return to action on #OpeningDay in 2013 by following up his pregame Rookie of the Year Award presentation with two home runs! ⚡️ pic.twitter.com/feRYLFKJcN
— MLB Network (@MLBNetwork) March 27, 2025
And while the baseball crowd might call it a superstition or a ritual, to the rest of us it’s giving “team-building exercise” with a side of locker room fantasy sequence. Honestly, if this were a scene in a gay rom-com, there’d be slow-motion, a sultry soundtrack, and at least three longing glances.
Photo Credit: @nbcsphilly
So when August 21 rolls around, sure, you could watch for the score. Or you could keep your eyes on the dugout cam for the real action. Because whether it’s a safety measure, a superstition, or just Harper being the most hands-on team player in the league, one thing’s clear—he’s not just grabbing wins, he’s grabbing headlines.
And Harper, if you’re reading this: call us. We’d like to discuss team spirit.
i have been aware of his existence far to long, Phllies are my second favorite MLB team, i love him, btw google him naked you wont regret it.