We’ve always known Paul Rudd was a national treasure, but now we’ve learned he might just be the grand prize of the entire LGBTQ+ fandom. Yes, that’s right, Paul Rudd has a huge penis—and no, this isn’t some wild fan fiction fantasy. This is the truth, as revealed by none other than comedian Rick Glassman on his podcast Take Your Shoes Off. And yes, it’s exactly as ridiculous as you’d imagine.
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Rick Glassman’s ‘Huge’ Discovery: Fact or Fantasy?
Let’s break it down. The moment came during a podcast appearance where Glassman casually dropped the bombshell that Rudd is, in fact, packing some serious heat. Now, we all know Glassman’s brand of comedy is equal parts absurd and mildly disturbing—so is this revelation about Rudd’s anatomy just another in-joke, or are we actually talking about something huge?
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It all started last summer, when Rudd, the ultimate comedic treasure, appeared on Take Your Shoes Off and, like any good guest, found himself in the middle of a ridiculous skit involving a coffee spill, an “intern” named Duncan (played by Michael Cera), and an emergency room visit that left us all wondering, “Is he injured or just serving the best content of the year?”
But the chaos didn’t stop there. Later in the episode, Rudd, bandaged up and pretending to have “soiled himself” from taking too many painkillers (naturally), found himself in a hilarious situation where Glassman and Cera were forced to help him out of his ruined pants. And that’s where the magic happened: The editors blurred out his goods—but let’s just say, it didn’t take much for us to imagine what was going on under there.
Glassman’s Mind Is Blown by Rudd’s ‘Huge’ Talent
So, what does Glassman have to say about the situation? “You have a huge penis. You do. You have a huge penis,” he declared, as if he had just discovered the eighth wonder of the world. And Rudd? He played it cool, of course. “I don’t remember much of that day,” he said, feigning innocence before adding, “I didn’t realize you guys saw it.”
But Glassman wasn’t letting up. “It was hard—it was soft to miss,” he joked, clearly still reeling from the experience.
Now, we’re all thinking it: Does Paul Rudd know just how big he is? Apparently not. The man’s never been one for on-screen nudity, making it clear that he’s more of a “private guy” than a “whip it out on set” kinda actor. “I’m not Harvey Keitel in The Piano,” he quipped, proving once again that modesty is just as big a part of his appeal.
@rickglassman @Take Your Shoes Off Podcast has more about what happened.
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When Glassman asked when Rudd first realized he was, well, blessed, Rudd couldn’t help but laugh. “Probably around junior high,” he said, admitting that having a huge penis in gym class wasn’t exactly the ego boost it sounds like. “I was more embarrassed than anything,” he said, recalling those awkward post-sports showers. Honestly, we get it, Paul—we get it.
Let’s be honest, whether this whole podcast conversation is a skit or a genuine revelation doesn’t really matter to us. What matters is that Paul Rudd is out here serving huge talent, and we’re here for every bit of it. Is it scripted? Probably. Does it matter? Not in the slightest. We’ve already hit “rewind” for the third time to appreciate the magic happening under that blurred-out zone. Let’s be real: We’re just here for the goods.
The Big Reveal: Paul Rudd’s ‘Package’ Hits the Big Screen
Fast forward to today, and Rudd is starring in Anaconda (yes, that Anaconda movie) alongside Jack Black, Thandiwe Newton, and Steve Zahn. So, yes, while we’re all here for the big snake action, we’re also hoping for more of the huge talent that Paul Rudd is apparently packing. Is there room for a ‘special feature’ about that in the film? We’ll take it, thanks.
And if you haven’t watched the trailer yet, honey, you better click it, because this is going to be huge—in more ways than one.