As gay men in relationships, we've fielded the typical heteronormative based questions too many times; who's the top, bottom, man, woman, husband, wife, bride, groom, dad, mom? We've also dealt with the "no fems" profile statements until we're blue in the face with the half hearted consensus that we all just need to love one another, no labels, we're all equal, etc., so on and so forth.
Throughout the whole debate and hearing questions like the above over and over again, I've always wondered why we haven't really seen this debate in the lesbian community. Maybe we haven't seen it because were too busy dealing with the male on male hypocrisy?
To address just my question, "does this happen to lesbians," popular lesbian YouTube vlogger Arielle Scarcella brought together a number of butch-identified women to discuss the nuances of their relationships with other women who also identify as butch. No, lol, she didn't do it for me, but her video has answered some of my questions.
Butch and masculine-of-center lesbians often receive very little visibility in popular culture ― and relationships where both women are masculine-presenting even less so. Scarcella wanted to give these women a chance to discuss the stigma surrounding masculine women and dominance, their experiences within their own relationships and the way gender-based expectations affect lesbian relationships in general.
”I wanted masculine women to have their chance and their relationships to shine,” Scarcella told The Huffington Post. “Love and our expression of it goes far beyond gender roles and expression. Two femme gay men can fall in love as well as two butch women.” – huffingtonpost.com
Thanks for the video, Arielle Scarcella. It was good to hear how other LGBTers deal with those type of questions.
We do have some lesbian readers here at Instinct. Can you add anything to what we saw in the video?
h/t: huffingtonpost.com
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