In the latest episode of “What Will George Santos Do Next?”, the former congressman has found a new way to keep himself in the spotlight—by joining OnlyFans. Yes, you read that right. Just weeks after launching a Cameo account to fund his champagne dreams and caviar legal defenses, Santos announced on X (formerly known as Twitter) that he’s taking his talents to the adult-content platform.
“The moment you’ve all been waiting for!” Santos proclaimed, as if we’d all been holding our breath for this. After his expulsion from Congress last December due to a slight misunderstanding involving federal fraud charges, the ex-lawmaker has been on a quest for attention more fervent than a dog chasing its tail.
The moment you’ve all been waiting for!
Only on #OnlyFans will you get the full behind the scenes access to everything I’m working on.
see ya all there! https://t.co/vYviMechYB
— George Santos (@MrSantosNY) June 19, 2024
Before you get too scandalized, rest assured: Santos clarified that his OnlyFans account is strictly PG. “I decided to go with OnlyFans because I wanted to stir the pot. Folks need to stop being so sensitive…” he explained, channeling his inner internet troll.
For a whopping $29.99 a month, his OnlyFans page promises “exclusive never before seen content of the Congressional Icon and much more!” Whether that includes behind-the-scenes footage of him dodging subpoenas or just him in a tuxedo reciting the Constitution remains to be seen. Either way, it’s bound to be the most entertaining use of your internet bandwidth since cat videos.
Jimmy Kimmel vows to subscribe to George Santos' OnlyFans: "Saddest part is the only person who's gonna subscribe is me" https://t.co/hxG4USF9Oy pic.twitter.com/eyCxAYZft4
— Decider (@decider) June 21, 2024
https://twitter.com/CorCattDelaware/status/1804125880609804746
So, there you have it: George Santos, from Capitol Hill to Cameo to OnlyFans. At this rate, who knows what’s next—Santos the musical, perhaps?