From Congress to OnlyFans: George Santos’ Wild Ride

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In the latest episode of “What Will George Santos Do Next?”, the former congressman has found a new way to keep himself in the spotlight—by joining OnlyFans. Yes, you read that right. Just weeks after launching a Cameo account to fund his champagne dreams and caviar legal defenses, Santos announced on X (formerly known as Twitter) that he’s taking his talents to the adult-content platform.

“The moment you’ve all been waiting for!” Santos proclaimed, as if we’d all been holding our breath for this. After his expulsion from Congress last December due to a slight misunderstanding involving federal fraud charges, the ex-lawmaker has been on a quest for attention more fervent than a dog chasing its tail.

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Before you get too scandalized, rest assured: Santos clarified that his OnlyFans account is strictly PG. “I decided to go with OnlyFans because I wanted to stir the pot. Folks need to stop being so sensitive…” he explained, channeling his inner internet troll.

For a whopping $29.99 a month, his OnlyFans page promises “exclusive never before seen content of the Congressional Icon and much more!” Whether that includes behind-the-scenes footage of him dodging subpoenas or just him in a tuxedo reciting the Constitution remains to be seen. Either way, it’s bound to be the most entertaining use of your internet bandwidth since cat videos.

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So, there you have it: George Santos, from Capitol Hill to Cameo to OnlyFans. At this rate, who knows what’s next—Santos the musical, perhaps?

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