There are two things the gay internet never forgets: a bad wig, and a clip that ages suspiciously well. This week’s throwback treasure? Colton Underwood’s moment from The Bachelor that now plays less like late-night comedy and more like an accidental prophecy.
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Yes, we’re talking about Colton Underwood. The virgin Bachelor. The “just vibes” Bachelor. The Bachelor who, in hindsight, had the gays muttering mmm okay from episode one.
Colton’s Virgin Era (Or: When Straight TV Got Confusing)
Back in his leading-man days, Colton proudly told America he was a virgin. In the now-resurfaced clip, he explains he’s never had a one-night stand because “he feels like those are awkward.” He adds that he wanted to wait until he was in love.
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Which is sweet! Earnest! Also the exact moment many gay viewers went, Oh. Ohhh.
It wasn’t scandalous—it was just… vibes. Very specific vibes.
Billy Eichner Kicks the Closet Door (With a Smile)
Then came Billy Eichner, gay comedian and chaos professional, who wasted absolutely no time cutting through the heterosexual fog.
@bachelornation IYKYK ❤️🌹 #BachelorNation @Colton Underwood
He told Colton:
“I’m gay. I know that is a shock, Colton. That, I think, you should look into. Maybe you’re the first gay Bachelor and we don’t even know. Put that in your promo. See you later.”
Colton, visibly buffering, replied:
“I… I… No,”
before laughing it off.
At the time, it was a joke. In 2026? It’s giving psychic damage.
Grindr, Fake Names, and The Bachelor Delusion
Here’s where the clip goes from funny to extremely familiar. Colton has since admitted he was on Grindr for a few years before his season of The Bachelor—under a fake name, apparently—and had hookups with several men in his mid-20s.
He’s also been honest about the fear that came with it. The fear of being outed. The fear of being seen. The fear of everything falling apart if the truth slipped through.
As he later told Variety:
“I remember feeling guilty, like ‘What the hell am I doing?’ It was my first time letting myself go there, so much that I was like, ‘I need The Bachelorette in my life, so I could be straight.’”
If that sentence doesn’t hit a little too close to home for at least half the gay readership, congratulations on your emotional stability.
The Bachelor to Husband Pipeline (Gay Edition)
Colton came out publicly in April 2021 at age 29, three years after his Bachelor season and after his relationship with Cassie ended. Since then, he’s rewritten the narrative entirely—marrying Jordan Brown in 2023 and welcoming a child together.
It’s a glow-up arc that reality TV absolutely did not predict but queer life often delivers.
Why the Gays Are Eating This Up
This resurfaced clip isn’t funny because it “exposes” Colton. It’s funny because it captures that painfully relatable stage where you’re doing mental gymnastics, signing up for straight fairy tales, and hoping a big enough life decision will somehow reboot your sexuality.
Billy Eichner wasn’t outing him. He was joking—just a little too accurately.
And that’s why gay viewers are obsessed. Not because we’re shocked. Not because we’re smug. But because we recognize the moment. The laugh-it-off moment. The no no no moment. The this will definitely fix me moment.
Sometimes the closet isn’t locked. Sometimes it’s just very well-lit, filmed in HD, and hosted by Chris Harrison.
And yes—we noticed. We always do.