Seattle is putting polyamory in the spotlight after moving a step closer to protecting people in consensual relationships involving multiple partners from discrimination.
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The Seattle City Council’s Housing, Arts and Civil Rights Committee unanimously voted to send a proposal to the full council that would expand the city’s civil rights code. Among other changes, the proposal would recognize “consensual relationships with multiple partners as an element of attitudes, preferences, and practices pertaining to sexual orientation.”
That may sound straightforward, but it also raises a question that tends to cause plenty of confusion: what exactly is the difference between polyamory and polygamy?
The terms are often used interchangeably, even though they describe different concepts. Seattle’s proposal is specifically concerned with consensual relationships involving multiple partners, rather than creating a system of multiple marriages.
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What does polyamory mean here?
In the context of Seattle’s proposal, polyamory refers to consensual relationships involving multiple partners.
The emphasis is on consent. The proposal specifically refers to “consensual relationships with multiple partners,” meaning the relationships covered are ones in which the people involved are aware of and agree to the arrangement.
That distinction is important because the legislation is about protecting people from discrimination based on their family and relationship structure.
Councilmember Alexis Mercedes Rinck, the bill’s sponsor, said the ordinance aims to “prohibit discrimination based on family and relationship structure as fully as possible.”
“We all know that every family is different, and we need to be clear that every family receives equal protection under the law,” Rinck said. “And chosen family is family.”
“This update reflects how people actually live,” Rinck added.
So where does polygamy fit in?
Polygamy and polyamory aren’t simply two words for exactly the same thing.
Polygamy is generally associated with marriage involving multiple spouses, while the Seattle proposal is addressing consensual relationships involving multiple partners and discrimination based on relationship or family structure.
That means the Seattle measure should not be described as an attempt to legalize multiple-spouse marriage. Instead, the proposal would add protections for people whose relationships and families fall outside more traditional structures.
And that distinction matters when discussing the legislation, because the issue before Seattle’s council is civil rights protection, not a change to the city’s marriage system.
Why are these protections being proposed?
The proposed protections would apply to areas including employment, housing, business licensure, places of public accommodation, park usage and “bias-free policing.” Under the proposal, people who experience unfair treatment could file complaints and seek a remedy through Seattle’s Office for Civil Rights.
Tyson Holman, co-chair of the Seattle Coalition for Family & Relationship Equity, testified in support of the proposal. Holman told council members that “being out” as poly can expose partners to discrimination, causing some people to “pretend to not love.”
“That’s why these protections are so important,” Holman said. “We don’t have to worry about losing our homes or our jobs or our families.”
Seattle’s Human Rights Commission had previously urged the mayor and City Council to consider the legislation, describing it as a “necessary and timely” evolution of the city’s approach to inclusivity. The commission said the legal framework “was largely built at a time when only a narrow definition of family and relationship was recognized.”
“As a result, many Seattle residents remain vulnerable to real and material harm,” the commission said.
The commission also pointed to multi-parent and multi-partner families, multi-generational households, chosen families, single parents, intentionally single individuals, and people in consensually nonmonogamous, asexual or aromantic relationships as groups that can face discrimination because their family structures fall outside traditional norms.
Seattle isn’t the first US city to recognize polyamory
Seattle would follow several other American cities that have adopted similar protections.
Somerville, Massachusetts, was the first U.S. city to formally recognize polyamorous relationships when it expanded its domestic partnership rules in 2020. The change extended certain benefits to poly partners, including hospital visitation rights and access to health insurance benefits.
In 2023, Somerville expanded its protections to specifically address discrimination in employment and interactions with police.
Portland, West Hollywood, Berkeley, Cambridge, Oakland, Olympia, Astoria and Hazel Park have also instituted similar protections, according to the report.
So while polygamy vs. polyamory can sound like a debate over terminology, Seattle’s proposal makes the practical distinction pretty clear: the city is considering protections for people in consensual multi-partner relationships and families, with the focus on preventing discrimination based on how those relationships are structured.
For anyone still mixing up the terms, that’s the key point to remember: polyamory and polygamy may both involve multiple partners, but Seattle’s proposed civil rights protections are specifically aimed at consensual relationship structures, not multiple-spouse marriage.
Source: Axios and NonMonogamyHelp