The Real O’Neals Portray Gay Halloween. And I Say Meh, Sad, Wrong.

If you're a fan of "The Real O'Neals," skip down to the video and watch Kenny act out his gay Halloween fantasy. 

"The Real O'Neals" take us there and we're a little confused, sad, and bitchy.  Fair warning.

According to the show's creators, Halloween is the "Gay Super Bowl."  In my gay circle and what I thought was common knowledge, The Academy Awards Show is the "Gay Super Bowl."  The season ending football game and acting awards show are also events that are what, three weeks apart from each other?  Some people have tried to equate the Tony Awards to the Super Bowl, but when something is that arts oriented and theatrical, it may transcend any sport reference imaginable.  We could compare giving out the Tony Awards to giving the Larry O'Brien Trophy to a sports team, but that may be a reference most gay and straight people may not know (it's given to the NBA winning team each year).  If there was a sports reference that needed to be paired with Halloween, it probably should be the World Series.  With the amount of Halloween parties we hop from each night, and often more than one night during the festive weekend, not only does it align with the activities, but it also aligns with the time of year, much better with baseball than football.  Halloween should be considered the "Gay World Series" or at least that's what I'm going to call it.  Super Bowl / Oscars, NBA Finals / Tony's, and World Series/ Halloween (Commentors on this blog are stating they always had it as Halloween / Gay Christmas).  That was me being confused and trying to smooth things out.

One of the comments over at agrees.

What I;m sad about with "The Real O'Neals" clip is that the holiday is portrayed as a stereotypical gay slutfest, a time where circuit bodies come off of the cruise liners and out of the clubs and into our streets.  Yes, they're fun to look at, but after a while you stop looking at the jock strapped framed buns as hot commodities and instead start critiquing – he should not have skipped leg day – why did he trim his ass and leg hair like that – well there's definitely no pubes on that one.  But hey!  That's who we are as a community!  Agreed?  No, please.  Let's watch the preview for "The Real O'Neals" and see if it truly reflects us.



Yeah, it looks like we're going to be doing that this weekend, right? 

We are probably more Kenny (Noah Galvin) than we think and he's probably more us.  He's wearing the most clothes making it the least revealing outfit while others are in belly shirts and in drag.  He does have some dance moves, carries himself well, but he's not personally partaking in the slutitude of the weekend like the rest of them with their body parts glistening in the Fall moonlight.  He's a looker, not a shower.

When I get thinking about what to be for Halloween, I don't go the slutty route.  I know I won't be the prettiest, most confident, jock strapped, tube top sporting, high heel wearing, clipped into a shoulder harness drunk out there so I don't go there.   I know I cannot go that route since I'm not built like that.  Maybe if I was, I'd be more open to that, but then again, no, I wouldn't.  I've had that body.  I had it in my 20s and again in my 30s, but I didn't tube top it.  My friends say I'm too cerebral and usually have to tone down my costumes to be better understood.  But that's the direction I need to go since the slutty category has too many contestants and is not my desired route.  I guess this is the bitchy section.

During one of my exciting Halloween weekends, a friend and I went to Chicago and had a wonderful time (Chicago Searching For International Tourists. Have You Visited?).  I had two phenomenal outfits and he had two slutty ones. They were good ones and he had the rocking body to carry them off.  As he walked through the club, the boys were dropping their jaws all over the place. He deserved the looks. The problem was, he wasn't totally confident in his own skin that weekend.  I HATED that he dressed like that.  I wanted him to have fun and he just wasn't.  What he was doing was meeting the expectations of the community to be rockin' it if you had it, and he had it.  He just wasn't feeling it, was flustered for most of the night, and therefore no one else was feeling it / him. Maybe he should have went with more reserved costumes.

Speaking of more reserved, I LOVED doing the blog entry Charlie Carver Helps Us Pick Out The Perfect Halloween Costume with Noah Wilson.  It was so refreshing to see gay men actually picking out "normal" costumes to wear and not ones that rely on sex appeal to be liked and appreciated.   Yes, Instinct Magazine has posted articles about slutty costumes and they have done well with our readers, of course, but I wish there were more blogs to do of creative costumes and clothed trick or treaters.  I'll see what I can find in New Orleans this year.  When I did a blog last year after Halloween called Wilton Manors Celebrates 'Wicked Manors' With 30,000+ In Attendance, I shared several pictures from the night, but they all were not sexual shots.  I wanted to show the creativity that was present for there were many costumes that were so wonderful. 

As I gather my things together to go to New Orleans for two weeks, including Halloween weekend, I haven't packed my costume yet for I don't have one.  No, I won't be going to my drawer and pulling out some hot undies and throwing on a tank top.  I won't be rolling up my Gronk football jersey to show my back and belly or wear booty shorts.  Thank you "The Real O'Neals" for reminding me of the mentality of gay Halloween.

That's my rant, my opinion, my take.  Of course I'm reading too much into it, I should lighten up, but then again, we're all not like the stereotype.  The fat, the skinny, the fit, we all have to be comfortable in our own skin, and maybe it's time to stop idealizing the gay skin as an Aberzombie calendar. Where were the non-plasticcs in that dance routine?

So what are you?  More slutty or more creative for Halloween? A little bit of both?

Do you agree with The Real O'Neals portrayal of a gay boy desires and dreams of what Halloween is supposed to be?




Yep.  I pissed a lot of people off with that one.  But as usual, when I go on my free flowing blogging kick, it's my opinion and not the magazines. Some people say, this is more like a personal blog, and it is. It's how I felt. 

Some others say Instinct Magazine is hypocritical since we post so many cock and ass stories. I think probably around 1/10th to 1/8th of my own posts are cock and ass ones. As bloggers, we have the right to post what we feel will generate traffic, but as well post what we are interested in and what we think may resonate with others in the LGBT community.  If we were a one note pony and one type of blogger, we wouldn't have variety and we could always use more since the LGBT community is so varied. 

Some people say it is just a show, get over it.  Understood.  Not all of us see ourselves in Kenny.  Not all of us were Kenny.  Yes, if that is how we feel, we shouldn't watch.  And I don't. To paraphrase the Hillary campaign, our children are watching.  Kids watching "The Real O'Neals" either see themselves in the Kenny character or don't.  I stayed in the closet longer because I didn't meet the stereotypes of the gay community that were being portrayed in the news and media and I didn't want to have to conform to the gay ideals, ways, lifestyle that we were shown to us in the late 80s, early 90s. I guess it is spot on and brings me back to those closeted days when I was longing for more from what society was showing and saying about lesbians, gays, and bisexuals.  I don't think we really talked about transgender people.  Did we even have that word back then?  What was being portrayed, what people thought gay life was like, just didn't connect with the person I was.  I wanted to be myself and not change everything else just because I found a better connection with men than women when it came to love and relationships.  I wanted to see the whole rainbow of characters that make up the gay community and all that was presented to many of us were just a cookie cutter to conform to.

And some have said this is slut shaming. No, I think it is just being tired of slut recognition.  Not all of us are sexually free as others and that is fine.  The rainbow is vast and we all can share in its shade as we see fit.  I think we are more than just dicks and asses and that's why I try to post a majority of my blogs about other things than male body parts and sex.  Go to the top of this story, click on my name and it will bring you to the blogs I have posted in chronological order.  I practice what I preach. There are some stories that are about sexual things, but they are far from a majority.

We all have our opinions, don't we.

13 thoughts on “The Real O’Neals Portray Gay Halloween. And I Say Meh, Sad, Wrong.”

  1. Say what you want (pro or con

    Say what you want (pro or con) about the storyline but Martha Plimpton's reaction when she sees her son kiss another guy at the Halloween party is absolutely perfect.  She portrays a mother who thinks she's learning to accept her son's "gayness" but she suddenly learns she isn't quite there yet.  I tell you, that woman is terrific and the best part of the entire program!

  2. Stop being negative.  You are

    Stop being negative.  You are really killing it for the rest of us. And stop putting down "sluts" they are a valuable part of our community.  You sound like you want to be a straight woman,  re-read your blog and get a handle of how much you sound like part of the hegemony.  Gay culture used to be a lot more varied and accepting but it is people like you who are destroying it.  Go read "The Gay Revolution"


  3. Get over it!  Let a young

    Get over it!  Let a young teen come out.  It needs no analysis, or "if it were me" or "how I did it"

  4. This show is about a young

    This show is about a young gay boy discovering his gay self. A gay kid who just came out in high school. I think those of us who came out in our teens and early 20s had the same feelings as Kenny about Halloween or coming out or finding those like us. When we're young, we focus on the stereotypes because we don't know anywhere else to start. From there we grow into our own gay man. Who he is at 18 (probably younger) cannot be compared to who you are at 30 (or whatever age).

    • You are right.  It is ONE

      You are right.  It is ONE young gay kid showing his coming out feelings. But we all didn't think the same when in the closet or trying to come out.  When I was coming out, or trying to, what was holding me back was that I did not meet the stereotypes and I really didn't want the stereotypes, therefore keeping me in the closet longer. If you're not being and thinking like Kenny is, are you in the wrong?

      • You’re right lol. I know I

        You're right lol. I know I said "those of us" but I wasn't clear to mention that not every gay boy relates to how Kenny feels in his journey. Some do and some don't.

        And of course you're not in the wrong; I had the same sentiments growing up as you did. You know your experience is yours and Kenny's experience is his. A point that I think to take away from this is that this is the experience of a fictional teenager that a mainstream tv network decided to portray. I think the issue is what the TV network decided to air on mainstream television that inevitably represents our community a certain way, not the experience of a tv character. 

        Of course the LGBT community knows that issues facing our community are not always as comical or conveniently packaged in 30 min (wouldn't that be nice) or that Kenny's experience is accurate representation for all gay men. It's hard for a 30 min ABC Family sitcom to accurately portray all gay men from the experience of one gay character. If they can, they should. 

        If the real issue you have is with the network's portrayal, it's not like there aren't shows that are more accurate (at least more realistic); for example, just off the top of my head, Queer as Folk showed much more depth and complexity in terms of characters. 

        Maybe the show will open Kenny up to other gay kids who are vastly different from him. Maybe it won't. 

        I get the reservations you had when you watched the episode cuz I had them too. But I just think you need to sometimes take it for what it is, a silly sitcom tv show, and not take it too personally. We can't all expect to relate to every gay character on television. That's just not realistic.

        Maybe we should hold this tv show more accountable because its mainstream, but personally, I don't hold any ABC a family sitcom shows accountable for accurate portrayals of real life and I don't think anyone should. 

  5. So, the Real O’Neals is bad

    So, the Real O'Neals is bad because of stereotypes, but you insist awards season is gay Halloween? How is that not a stereotype too?

  6. That was a long winded

    That was a long winded assertion of "meh", if I ever did see one.

    I don't disagree, but the over analytical drivel, could best be reserved for a personal blog.

    Just say you think it was a little bit overkill, to hype up "Gay Halloween" in that way. It saves the masses from wasting time scrolling, & scrolling, and scrolling. Remember, It's not a novel you need to write.

    • Thanks Knite.  You’re right. 

      Thanks Knite.  You're right.  It is a personal blog that I am able to post to Instinct as one of the …. drum roll … bloggers.  If you didn't want to scroll and scroll and scroll,  you don't have to.  Just like I don't have to watch the Real O'Neals, the Kardashians, etc.  It's not a novel you need to read.

  7. It’s a fictional show, right?

    It's a fictional show, right?  A sitcom?  I don't think it's meant to be a 'how to" guide.  Lighten ⬆️.


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