Why Can’t Gay Men Believe Other Gay Men ACTUALLY Get Raped?

Over the past six months, a topic that is on everybody's lips is the #metoo movement, which has primarily focused on women coming forward about their own alleged sexual assault encounters with men in the entertainment industry.

For the most part, there has been an endless amount of support for each and every woman who has spoken about their own claims of sexual harassment, misconduct and assault which has included details of them being allegedly raped in many cases and forced to stay silent due to a myriad of issues.

There have been a smattering of instances where a gay man in the entertainment industry has been accused of some form of sexual misconduct, most notably Kevin Spacey who has had his career do a complete 180 due to the numerous amount of sexual assault claims against the Oscar winner by other men. 

The support in this situation was met with a ton of skepticism from gay men, which became very evident in the comments section on not only Instinct Magazine's Facebook page, but many others who think some of these men were lying or simply wanted their 15 minutes of fame.

Over the past couple of months, there haven't been any new accusations against any gay man in the media, until a week or two ago, when porn star Tegan Zayne spoke about an alleged story where fellow porn star Topher DiMaggio raped him.

Then, two more men (who remain unidentified) came forward with their own claims against DiMaggio, where all three stories sound very similar to one another.  After posting the story on our Facebook page yesterday, the comments section became chock full of comments regarding all three of these men coming forward with their stories.

Let's take a look at some of the more poignant ones, and by poignant, we mean completely ignorant and downright cruel (no spell check needed, as this is how they were written):

lmfaoooooooo gurl bye

BS!!!! All cracked out meth queens Accusing him !!!!

Noticed they didn't call the police …. save your tears for your pillow !!

Look more bandwagon jumpers.

how can you get raped when you get paid to perform on camera. they should get a real job and work for their money….

These men need to leave Topher alone, I don't think he raped anyone. Just trying to ruin his reputation

Ugh please! I'm so tired of hearing about this topic whether you are a woman or man! If someone uses sexual coercion than punch'em & tell them no aka self defense!

He said it hurts? PLEASE!! Tophers dick is small!

Looks like everyone is trying to get there 15 secs of gay fame lol

Bullshit , he's hot. Stop complaining. .NEVER

Innocent until proven guilty. But either way he can rape me!

A lot of these comments play into why many men who are raped or put in dangerous situations like this don't go to the police or even tell a friend or a family member out of fear that no one will believe them or that they will be judged.  The sad part is that there is more of a focus on the stigma that this community brings rather than dealing with what someone actually experienced.

The second comment alone is startling enough: "cracked out meth queens". Even if they were on drugs or not, you can still be raped.  Same goes with the comment about being paid to fuck on camera: it can still happen to any person, no matter what the profession, background, or anything else is.  So why judge in the first place?  There is a very fine line between throwing shade in a funny way and being an ignorant jerk who says these sorts of things for likes or a knee jerk reaction.

This is a hot button topic in the gay community that clearly isn't talked about enough, and perhaps the reason being is because of all this unnecessary comments about men who talk about their own alleged experiences just to have it thrown back in their faces for either lying about it or not being "man" enough to take care of the situation when its happening. 

What if it was you in this situation?  Take away the social media aspects, the "kiki" or comments that were meant to be funny only after a ton of other people call you out on your bullshit, what if it was you?  This community has a lot to work on still in 2018 if we can't even talk about something as serious as rape within it without a ton of guys making harsh and incredibly cruel comments about the men who this is happening to.  

Maybe this can work: if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. 

2 thoughts on “Why Can’t Gay Men Believe Other Gay Men ACTUALLY Get Raped?”

  1. The issue isn’t that people

    The issue isn’t that people don’t believe men can be raped, or even that people don’t believe male porn stars can be raped. The problem is that you have an eccentric porn star who pulled a Grace/Aziz Ansari move and described what was an uncomfortable but consensual experience for him as “rape” on Twitter. Then, the next day had a long scene of scheduled sex on camera with the scene partner.

    There’s no such thing as a perfect victim, so the credibility of Tegan’s 2 year old claim notwithstanding, there are still so many questions here. You mention Kevin Spacey also, far from a good example of a gay rapist.

    DiMaggio is now facing two more anonymous allegations. The problem with anonymous allegations that name a specific person is that they publicly expect the person to be turned into a villain with little to no corroboration. In fact, the dubious blog that posted the third allegation is itself deleting comments that question what level of investigation or call out the most basic fallacies of what allegedly took place into the (honestly) questionable claims. The Gay Republic (of all publications) even recognized that these unsubstantiated allegations needed some type of investigation before being taken at face value.


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