Actor Connor Jessup: “I’m Grateful To Be Gay”

Connor Jessup came out as gay on his 25th birthday. / Image via Instagram @connorwjessup

Another American actor is sharing his truth with the rest of the world.

Connor Jessup is an actor who has been working in the entertainment field since he was eleven. Now at 25, the actor is best known for his roles as Ben Mason in tv series Falling Skies and Taylor Blaine/Coy Henson in American Crime.

In order to honor his 25th birthday, Jessup wrote up a long post for social media. In it, he discusses his life so far, the triumphs he has accomplished, and the trials he has yet to master. That post culminated in the gigantic moment when Jessup came out as gay.

“I knew I was gay when I was thirteen, but I hid it for years,” wrote Jessup. “I folded it and slipped it under the rest of my emotional clutter. Not worth the hassle. No one will care anyway. If I can just keep making it smaller, smaller, smaller…. My shame took the form of a shrug, but it was shame. I’m a white, cis man from an upper-middle class liberal family. Acceptance was never a question. But still, suspended in all this privilege, I balked. It took me years. It’s ongoing. I’m saying this now because I have conspicuously not said it before.”

View this post on Instagram

I knew I was gay when I was thirteen, but I hid it for years. I folded it and slipped it under the rest of my emotional clutter. Not worth the hassle. No one will care anyway. If I can just keep making it smaller, smaller, smaller…. My shame took the form of a shrug, but it was shame. I’m a white, cis man from an upper-middle class liberal family. Acceptance was never a question. But still, suspended in all this privilege, I balked. It took me years. It’s ongoing. I’m saying this now because I have conspicuously not said it before. I’ve been out for years in my private life, but never quite publicly. I’ve played that tedious game. Most painfully, I’ve talked about the gay characters I’ve played from a neutral, almost anthropological distance, as if they were separate from me. These evasions are bizarre and embarrassing to me now, but at the time they were natural. Discretion was default, and it seemed benign. It would be presumptuous to assume anyone would care, yeah? And anyway, why should I have to say anything? What right do strangers have to the intimate details of my life? These and other background whispers––new, softer forms of the same voices from when I was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…. Shame can come heavy and loud, but it can come quiet too; it can take cover behind comfort and convenience. But it’s always violent. For me, this discretion has become airless. I don’t want to censor––consciously or not––the ways I talk, sit, laugh, or dress, the stories I tell, the jokes I make, my points of reference and connection. I don’t want to be complicit, even peripherally, in the idea that being gay is a problem to be solved or hushed. I’m grateful to be gay. Queerness is a solution. It’s a promise against cliche and solipsism and blandness; it’s a tilted head and an open window. I value more everyday the people, movies, books, and music that open me to it. If you’re gay, bi, trans, two-spirit or questioning, if you’re confused, if you’re in pain or you feel you’re alone, if you aren’t or you don’t: You make the world more surprising and bearable. To all the queers, deviants, misfits, and lovers in my life: I love you. I love you. Happy Pride!

A post shared by Connor Jessup (@connorwjessup) on

Jessup went further to note how he has been out privately with loved ones, but he hadn’t gotten the courage to come out publicly… until now.

“I’ve been out for years in my private life, but never quite publicly,” Jessup added. “I’ve played that tedious game. Most painfully, I’ve talked about the gay characters I’ve played from a neutral, almost anthropological distance, as if they were separate from me. These evasions are bizarre and embarrassing to me now, but at the time they were natural. Discretion was default, and it seemed benign. It would be presumptuous to assume anyone would care, yeah? And anyway, why should I have to say anything? What right do strangers have to the intimate details of my life? These and other background whispers––new, softer forms of the same voices from when I was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen…. Shame can come heavy and loud, but it can come quiet too; it can take cover behind comfort and convenience. But it’s always violent. For me, this discretion has become airless. I don’t want to censor––consciously or not––the ways I talk, sit, laugh, or dress, the stories I tell, the jokes I make, my points of reference and connection. I don’t want to be complicit, even peripherally, in the idea that being gay is a problem to be solved or hushed.”

View this post on Instagram

protecting bambi from the hunter

A post shared by Connor Jessup (@connorwjessup) on

“I’m grateful to be gay,” Jessup continued. “Queerness is a solution. It’s a promise against cliche and solipsism and blandness; it’s a tilted head and an open window. I value more everyday the people, movies, books, and music that open me to it. If you’re gay, bi, trans, two-spirit or questioning, if you’re confused, if you’re in pain or you feel you’re alone, if you aren’t or you don’t: You make the world more surprising and bearable. To all the queers, deviants, misfits, and lovers in my life: I love you. I love you. Happy Pride!”

We here at Instinct Magazine want to congratulate Jessup on simply, and challengingly, committing to being himself in private and public.

As an entertainment talent, it’s hard to be LGBTQ while having the public eye always on you. But in doing so, he is helping to create a better atmosphere for other gay talents to come out, and he’s being an openly gay man that we can all be proud of.

View this post on Instagram

👽

A post shared by Connor Jessup (@connorwjessup) on

2 thoughts on “Actor Connor Jessup: “I’m Grateful To Be Gay””

  1. So given the recent relationship rumors, does this mean that Miles Heizer is not too far behind from exiting the closet as well?

What do you think?