You put your penis inside another man.
You repeatedly do this activity, but you prefer to be labeled as straight.
is this a shake your head moment or is all about boys experimenting and learning what they like?
Recently we were introduced to another label for sex between men that do not identify as homosexual. 'Dude Sex' is what University of Oregon sociology doctoral student Tony Silva refers to this man-on-man non-homosexual activity as in a new paper in Gender & Society, where he studies rural, white, straight men.
Before we read this NYMAG.com piece, we had heard of such activities being called bromances and bro-jobs. Not all bromances were sexual in nature, but the bro-jobs were, well, oral pleasure given to your bro in a time of need.
Silva sought to find out more about these men, so he recruited 19 from men-for-men casual-encounters boards on Craigslist and interviewed them, for about an hour and a half each, about their sexual habits, lives, and senses of identity. All were from rural areas of Missouri, Illinois, Oregon, Washington, or Idaho, places known for their “social conservatism and predominant white populations.” – from The Phenomenon of ‘Bud Sex’ Between Straight Rural Men
Are these Bro this and Dude that just attempts at re-labeling activities of another societal group in order to try and maintain a certain status and avoid being lowered to that other societal group which is deemed to be inferior? Are white men trying to protect their whiteness and heterosexuality by making man-on-man activities not gay?
In some of the subcultures Ward studied, straight MSM were able to reinterpret homosexual identity as actually strengthening their heterosexual identities. So it was with Silva’s subjects as well — they found ways to cast their homosexual liaisons as reaffirming their rural masculinity. One way they did so was by seeking out partners who were similar to them. “This is a key element of bud-sex,” writes Silva. “Partnering with other men similarly privileged on several intersecting axes—gender, race, and sexual identity—allowed the participants to normalize and authenticate their sexual experiences as normatively masculine.” In other words: If you, a straight guy from the country, once in a while have sex with other straight guys from the country, it doesn’t threaten your straight, rural identity as much as it would if instead you, for example, traveled to the nearest major metro area and tried to pick up dudes at a gay bar. You’re not the sort of man who would go to a gay bar — you’re not gay! – from The Phenomenon of ‘Bud Sex’ Between Straight Rural Men
So yes, these white men are getting their jollies off with their Dude / Bro stuff but not dipping their toes into the rainbow pool.
Are white men as well redefining an activity we all know too well? As I mentioned above … are these Bro this and Dude that just attempts at re-labeling activities of another societal group in order to try and maintain a certain status and avoid being lowered to that other societal group which is deemed to be inferior? I was referring to homosexuals, but what if these Bro / Dude labels were trying to place themselves in a different light than being "on the down low."
Growing up in the '80s and '90s and being sexually active in the '90s and so on, I know all too well about the DL. Being on the 'down low' has been predominantly a black thing or so it has been portrayed to us in movies, television, etc as such. There's a real negative connotation when it comes to being on the DL. Are white men on the DL, but are choosing to call it something different to avoid that negative take?
What do you think, Instincters?
Is being on the DL still negative? Is it just in the black community?
Do you buy all of this Bud / Bro mumbo jumbo?