At 72, Tim Gunn has lived many lives: fashion educator, television icon, LGBTQ elder statesman, and — as he recently reminded listeners — someone who has been celibate for more than four decades.
Speaking candidly on Chelsea Handler Podcast, Gunn shared that he has been celibate for 43 years, tracing the decision back to a deeply painful breakup that occurred when he was 29. It wasn’t a vow or a moral stance. It was grief, fear, and history colliding all at once.
“I’ve been in New York for 42 years,” Gunn said. “Forty-three years [I’ve been celibate].”
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The Relationship That Changed Everything
Before the long stretch of solitude, Gunn was in a serious nine-year relationship with a man he deeply loved while living in Washington, D.C. The relationship ended abruptly one night in 1982 — a year that would become devastatingly significant for gay men.
The breakup unfolded quietly but cruelly. The two were in bed watching MASH when his partner told him, flatly, that he had no patience left and wanted Gunn to leave. Gunn packed up and drove away, pulling over because he was hyperventilating, overwhelmed by shame, sadness, and self-blame.
What made it worse was that Tim continued working with this man — there was no clean break, no disappearing act. And then came the revelation that reshaped everything: his partner admitted he had been sleeping with numerous other people, while Tim had remained loyal.
It was also the dawn of the AIDS crisis.
Love in the Shadow of AIDS
The heartbreak quickly gave way to fear. Tim recalled the moment when self-pity turned into anger — not just emotional betrayal, but the terrifying possibility that he had been exposed to HIV at a time when infection was widely seen as a death sentence.
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For the next decade, Gunn was tested every six months. Each negative result brought relief, but the psychological damage lingered. Any time a romantic situation threatened to turn serious, the memories rushed back “like Niagara Falls,” he said, extinguishing desire entirely.
Celibacy wasn’t a plan — it was a response.
A Brief Second Chance — and Another Loss
According to Newsweek, Tim did try again. Roughly ten years after the breakup, in 1992, he met a flight attendant named Daniel. The relationship was new, hopeful, and fragile — and it unraveled for reasons Gunn still regrets.
After telling a close friend about Daniel, Tim was met not with support but criticism. The friend dismissed the relationship as a “gay stereotype,” and Tim found himself choosing loyalty to that friendship over the man he was dating. The result? He lost both.
“This is still something I think about with a good deal of frequency,” Gunn admitted. “The irony is I ended up with no one.”
Coming Out, Quietly and Late
The Project Runway alum’s journey toward self-acceptance was gradual. As he told HuffPost, his first experience with a man came at 22, but he didn’t come out to his family until years later. He told his sister at 29 — after that life-altering breakup.
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“I Wouldn’t Have It Any Other Way”
Despite the pain threaded through his story, Gunn is clear-eyed about where he is now. Living alone took adjustment, he said — but today, he finds peace in solitude. No bitterness. No longing. Just acceptance.
“And now,” Gunn said, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
For LGBTQ readers, especially those shaped by loss, fear, or eras that demanded emotional survival, Gunn’s story lands not as tragedy — but as testimony. Sometimes, the most radical ending isn’t romance. It’s peace.