What did you learn about the sexual revolution in school? Main topics were probably burning bras, homosexuality, alternatives to monogamy, contraception, sex before and outside marriage, contraception, and abortion. Life would be quite different for all of us if the '60s to the '80s weren't so free. But did it go far enough?
In a recent article "The Top Ten Myths About Men's Sexuality," publishes on PsychologyToday.com, it shows that we may have not learned everything we needed to some 40 odd years ago. Sexuality is something that we may never understand completely, but there are many myths about men's sexuality.
In the last few years, there has been a growing movement among sex therapists and researchers to really understand men’s sexuality—not what it is “supposed to be,” but rather how it manifests, where its roots lie, and how to deal with the conflicts it presents, not only in therapy with men, but with couples too.
We’ve long recognized that women are pretty far ahead of men in terms of emotional access and vocabulary. Historically, we therapists have tried to help men catch up to women in this regard. This is important, but now we are beginning to ask how we can help women understand where their men are right now instead of waiting for them to catch up.
Definitely head over to PsychologyToday.com to see these 9 myths about men's sexuality. I've included some elaboration on a couple of them, but there's a lot more to read.
1. Men who have sex with other men are gay or bi
Not necessarily. We now know that many men are attracted to gay sex … but not to men. This is bound to confuse a lot of people, but …
2. Bisexual men cheat
Absolutely false. Bisexual men can commit equally as much as any straight man or woman out there. The myth is that bi men can’t make up their mind, and therefore …
3. Men are too focused on sex
Men and women have different ways of expressing their attachment to each other. In general, women express their attachment through relationship. Men do so through sex. Research reveals …
4. Men who watch porn become obsessed with it and then prefer it over sex with their wives
5. If a man wants anal sex it means he is gay or bisexual
A lot of people think this. But a man’s anus doesn’t have a sexual orientation, it just knows it enjoys pleasure. Our culture has decided …
6. It’s pathological if a man wants a lot of sex
7. Sex addiction is an official diagnosis
8. If a man can’t get or loses his erection it means he is not into his partner
9. Men who have kinky fantasies will always want to act upon them
10. Watching porn can make men want to cheat on their spouses
Gay, straight, bi men … we may never comprehend all of what is going on in their brains and their jeans. The sexual revolution was a great time for homosexuality to break out of the closet, but there's a lot more to sex than just being one of the 3 flavors. Realizing there are more than just those three words, gay, straight, bi, to describe male sexuality is the first step. Is understanding men's sexuality the next great sexual revolution?
What do you think is the biggest myth or misconception about male sexuality?
h/t: PsychologyToday.com and Joe Kort Ph.D.
The unanswered question is
The unanswered question is "why". Sexual preference is on a continuum. There is also "situational" sex. Most people fall on a spectrum of all heterosexual to all homosexual, with degrees in between. Few people are all or nothing. Hunky athletes may be attracted to another hunky athlete, but his "sexual preference" is for the opposite sex. Those who are in prison, those in the military, those in segregated schools (all boys, all girls), and similar situations, may have same sex relations but still prefer sex with the opposite gender. Society or our culture seems hell-bent on placing labels on people, putting them in a box. There is a great deal of misunderstanding, lack of knowledge, unwillingness to keep an open mind, an inculcation of a particular view based on one's ethnicity, religious background, locale, peer pressure. These are shackles which keep us from moving forward toward acceptance. The answer is consensual sex is whatever one prefers at the time, at the place, under the circumstances. We must stop judging others. Make sure your own house is clean first. As Sofia remarked in one of the Golden Girls segment, "Some people prefer dogs, others prefer cats."