When Will People Learn That Dogs Are for Instagram Photos, Not Licking Your Balls?

Police in East Lothian, Scotland were called to the home of a 22-year-old when he was found unconscious and fully clothed in a pool of his own blood. According to The Times, the man had fallen into coma after an English Bulldog had eaten the man’s genitals. The man had allegedly spread peanut butter on his crotch area before the attack. I wonder if it was crunchy or smooth?

According to DailyMail, the dog’s name is believed to be ‘Biggie’ and was alone with the man in the flat, but others were on the property.

Physicians discovered that they could not reattach the man’s organs since the pooch had eaten them for a snack. The man’s condition stabilized after some time in the hospital, but the dog was taken to a local kennel during the investigation. The dog was put down because of the incident.

While this is a tragic incident that included a man’s life being completely ruined, if this man did spread peanut butter on himself in order to receive gratification, should this not be treated as a case of animal cruelty? The dog was put down and this man, although dickless, will have to live with his decision to get his jollies off with a dog. It’s devastating to see that an innocent animal was treated as a savage because of one man’s choice. English Bulldogs are the most loving breed of dogs who have a long history of mistreatment and abuse. Their lifespans range from 5-8 years because of a lineage of inbreeding that has left many dogs with medical conditions that interfere with them leading healthy and full lives. It’s sad to see this happen to a dog who didn’t know any better.




Let this be a lesson to all perverts. Dogs are for walking, cuddling, and taking holiday Instagram photos with. They don’t want to eat your balls, but they will if you provoke them.

This post was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject.

h/t: The Times, DailyMail

1 thought on “When Will People Learn That Dogs Are for Instagram Photos, Not Licking Your Balls?”

  1. Of course he’d be unconscious

    Of course he'd be unconscious; his nuts literally got crushed by that dog's eating them, probably, while they were still attached to his body.  Every day of my life, I am reminded that people do some incredibly naive and/or stupid things. Though not a Darwin-award quality action (the man's still alive, after all), this certainly ranks up there in an honorable-mention spot for the 2018 awards.


Leave a Comment