Do You Socialize With The Gays That Are ‘Not That Kind Of Gay’?

Which one of these things is doing its own thing …


Do you sometimes have that earworm from Sesame Street when you go out to the club?  That gay is just a little different than the rest of us. He's not like the others. May he be covered in glitter from head to toe, or maybe its you and your friends that are all shiny while he's in his Aberzombie shirt. 

Or are you that friend that sticks out like a sore thumb because you're the "different one." 

Michael Henry speaks on the topic of that friend that is just NOT THAT KIND OF GAY. You know, the friend in the group that doesn't check 7 out of the top 10 boxes on the "Stereotypical Gay Traits and Activities List."  Have a listen and look see. 




Is this a slippery slope of a topic to talk about? I've been witness too often to discussions that turn ugly about this topic where the angry gay mob would go after the ironed black t-shirt wearing guy and exclaim HETERONORMATIVE, INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA, ASHAMED OF BEING GAY!  Would they be right?  It conjures up memories of the people that were happy to proclaim that they do not watch Game of Thrones like they are better than everyone, they are not lemmings, they are not falling into the ruts society has provided. Can't wait for those holier than thou people to proclaim their whatervertheythinkitis-ness come next April.


Do you think the Sachin (man in black) was proud to NOT be doing those stereotypically gay things? Did he choose NOT to do those things Michael was doing because they were "too gay?" Or was he just stating a fact that he just doesn't do them due to lack of interest and not avoidance? 

I like watching football and I like watching hockey, but when people find that out, I almost think it's like a BIG GAY BETRAYAL or they need to adjust the Kinsey rating they had in their head for me. But they usually have no problem asking me to help with physical labor, navigate, or even be the one that always drives either at home or on vacations.

Where do we gays start on that Kinsey scale with friends, family, coworkers? When they find out we are gay, which gay social calendar pops into their heads? Michael's or Sachin's?  I honestly believe that when people think of gays, they do think of the Michael more than the Sachin.  I mean, we all watch RPDR, right?  For those of you that don't, RPDR stands for RuPaul's Drag Race.

Recently, one of our many contributing writers wrote a post about why he feels Will and Grace should be canceled.  It put some people's hands at our throats! There are some die hard fans out there.  The responses made us think for a second that W&G is the GoT of the gay world. 


But as managing editor, I ask the writers to include in their post a statement similar to the following if they are doing a piece that is heavy with opinion.

This post was created by one of our Contributing Writers and does not reflect the opinion of Instinct Magazine or the other Contributing Writers when it comes to this subject.

Some responded to seeing that statement, "Why the hell is Instinct posting something that doesn't reflect the opinion of the magazine?" 

We have about 9 contributing writers from ages 20 to 47, living in NYC, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Fort Lauderdale/Miami, Nashville, Las Vegas, Long Beach, Los Angeles, Liverpool, UK, and are Latino, African-American, White, and unidentified.  The thing is, we as the contributing writers are all NOT THE SAME KIND OF GAY. 


There have been times where I've had to handle very angry and pointed comments, emails, and tweets being fired against the magazine because the opinion shared by the writer was not unanimously accepted and was more in alignment with maybe 20% of the LGBTQ+ community.  And many of those times I didn't agree with the writer either!  But are we going to take the gay card away from "family" that don't watch RPDR? Do we walk away from the gays that differ in stance or opinion? Do we say, "I got the Green and Blue … the R-O-Y-P gays can just go away!"

I'm happy that I don't have a writing family of just THAT KIND OF GAY.  Although a staff of all Michaels or all Sachins would be interesting, I like our variety. They get me hot under the collar some times, but they as well represent a spectrum of opinions, likes, dislikes, ages, ethnicity, and so on.

So before you judge so harshly which one of these things is not like the other, maybe you shouldn't be THAT KIND OF GAY, the one that thinks everyone needs to be just like you.

But then again, Sesame Street did have some faults in its presentations once in a while, too. 



Michael Henry @Michaelhenry915

Sachin Bhatt  @sachinbhatt

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