Gronk acts out Erotic Fan Fiction.

When it comes to New England Patriots' Tight End Rob Gronkowski, my friends know I am obsessed, infatuated, crazy, and well, he will be my future husband some day. 

You don't have to do anything besides look at him to just be … ummm … where was I?  He has that presence where it seems he sucks all the brainwaves out of the room just by standing there.  Glazed over look and mouth ajar, you wonder what is going on if anything inside that skull of his. He's all of those big dumb jocks you had crushes on in high school, all rolled into one mighty fine package.

Is he a dummy?  I really don't think so but I do feel that someone is helping him out a little.

Rob Gronkowski has a new book coming out called It’s Good To Be Gronk, and while I’m sure it will be a post-modern literary examination of fame and excess in the 21st century, the book will also have some fun facts about Gronk’s life.

One of those fun facts is that Gronkowski has not spent a dollar of his NFL salary or signing bonus, or so he claims. – ftw.usatoday.com

So he's beautiful, physically perfect, rich, gives back to the community, and hasn't returned any of my calls, emails, or letters left at his doorstep. We're working on those latter things.

Is there anything he cannot do?   he tried his singing with Big Papi in this Dunkin Donuts commercial.

 

 

Okay, it wasn't that good, but it was still entertaining.  How is he going to do at acting? Thanks to the peeps over at Funny or Die, we found out and oh, it's dreadful.  Gronk brings to life, narrates, reads?  okay, we'll go with that, he reads some fan fiction we heard a little while ago, but this time, the erotic story is complimented by visuals. 

 

 

First of all, Gronk, you have too many clothes on.  Our lesbian and bi readers will be happy to see Charlotte McKinney in not much at all, but we need to see some more of Rob. I guess I'll have to pull up your kitten pics or the body issue or well anything you were shirtless in.

The fan fiction was interesting, but a woman wanting a football and other items spiked between her butt cheeks?  I guess it could happen, but I am sure there are many men out there rewriting the pronouns in this story.

We did learn of the erotic fan fiction back during media week as well as from this episode of Jimmy Kimmel back in February of this year.

 

Gronk, please work on returning my emails and phone calls.  And no matter what you do, even your most recent attempt at reading acting, any kind of exposure is fine with me.

 

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