Lil Nas X is opening up again about his sexual preferences. But even better, he’s pointing out and condemning the stigma around bottoming.
Last year, Lil Nas X released a new single and music video called “Holiday.” While the song did not make the pop culture splash that “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” or “Industry Baby” did, it did share some interesting info. In the song, Lil Nas X starts by talking about having “hoes on hoes and they out of control.” Clearly, “Holiday” isn’t the family-friendly music you might first expect from the title.
From there, Lil Nas X got even more personal by sharing that he’s a bottom. Though, he quickly switched up the topic to talk about how he’s on top of the music industry.
“Aye, can I pop shit?” Nas X asks. “I might bottom on the low, but I top shit. Switch the genre on you hoes do a rock hit. I got the biggest damn song, fuck the charts sis.”
And he’s not wrong, seeing as he just topped Spotify’s list of rappers with the most monthly listeners. Ironic, since the artist constantly sings that he’s a pop star and not a rapper.
But back to the matter of bottoming, Lil Nas X recently elaborated more on his sexual preferences and called out stigma, both outside of and within the gay community, around bottoming.
While talking to Variety, Lil Nas X said, “I feel like even within the gay community, people see bottoming as a joke or something, and somebody who bottoms is beneath a top or something. The idea of that, I feel like, is a form of misogyny between men, you know? It doesn’t make any sense, and people attribute certain traits to whichever sexual position you decide to take. A lot of people say, ‘It’s just a joke.’ But all jokes have truths to them.”
Lil Nas X also talked about his dating life. And, he confirmed the rumor that he’s dating someone. Though, he did not reveal his boyfriend’s identity.
“Before fame, I didn’t really have a sexual life besides one person or two. It’s definitely made things a lot more interesting, to say the least. I’ve had some good boyfriends, some bad ones. A lot of them emotionally unavailable and whatnot. A lot of insecurity between them. But yeah, I found somebody special now.”
If your wondering what site I am talking about it’s @BlacksOnBoys such a shame… lost my respect.
— Armond Rizzo (@ArmondRizzoXXX) January 25, 2020
For @BlacksOnBoys if your wondering what my response is to working for you I think your smart enough to know that, it’s going to be a big NO THANKS! I don’t care that you even raised my fee up. It’s just unjust you pay bottoms less and for that I decline working for you!
— Armond Rizzo (@ArmondRizzoXXX) January 25, 2020
In terms of bottoming and the stigma surrounding it, Lil Nas X only hit the top of the iceberg. There’s always been a problematic sense of inequality when it comes to tops and bottoms in the gay community. Take for instance the pay inequality within the adult film industry. Last year, adult performer Armond Rizzo exposed the studio Blacks on Boys for paying bottoms less than their tops.
“This has never happened to me but there’s a studio who is interested in me and what I found out about them is mind blowing. They pay bottoms way less than tops n there excuse the site is more top dominant … If your wondering what site I am talking about it’s @BlacksOnBoys such a shame… lost my respect. [sic]”
Tops vs bottoms? https://t.co/Ap4lPySa5x
— Armond Rizzo (@ArmondRizzoXXX) January 26, 2020
Of course, we could already talk about the problems with the racial aspects of that studio, but that’s a whole other article. Rizzo also noted how it’s bottoms who put in more prep work before shooting a scene.
“What do tops do in the morning before a shoot? Show up on set on their phones and fill out paperwork,” Rizzo continued. “When it’s time for shooting, they get TriMix and inject your penis. Instant hard-on… Now let’s move on for a bottom. A bottom has to wake up early in the morning, douche out, shower, get ready, check again, walk around, douche out again (just to triple check). Oh, you’re only allowed to eat an apple, a carrot or something light to eat that your body’s not gonna process to eat.”
https://twitter.com/FloralAndy/status/1231779933795573761
The often ignored problem of prep time was also spotlighted in February of last year. That was when the Twitter user and “Top Guy” FloralAndy decided to do the rare act of bottoming. He then ranted in a viral video about preparing all day for a hookup only to have the other guy cancel at the last minute.
He explained, “I found someone who committed like a responsible adult to coming over later and I spent a ton of time in HERE (camera swoops to the toilet). I was also considerate and lit a candle. And then I was also considerate and made my f**king bed which I never do! And then I laid out a towel – WHICH I NEVER DO because I’m not a very considerate person – and all of a sudden wanting to bottom makes me nice, and then… He f***king CANCELLED.”
Though possibly one of the most memorable recent incidents around the topic of bottoming was when singer Troye Sivan was hounded by the press over his sexual position. After releasing the song, “Bloom,” Sivan tweeted that it was a “bop about bottoming.” The singer later deleted the tweet, but his “fans” mocked him for the comment and its deletion.
Then in August of 2019, Express, an LGBTQ magazine based in New Zealand, asked the singer a series of uncomfortable questions. The interviewer first attempted to joke with Sivan about the Kiwi accent. He then shifted gears to the possibility of Sivan and Shawn Mendes having sex. The interviewer then changed topics to Sivan’s then-boyfriend Jacob Bixenman. After then covering tv shows and movies, the reporter finished the lightning round with the question “Top or Bottom?” The move came off as “gotcha journalism” at its worst.
Literally only 3 were but it was still weird af and they didn't even ask him about his music 🙄
— mingie 🌸 (@angiestigma) August 29, 2019
Shoutout to all the Troye Sivan stans out there who are NOT HERE FOR THIS
— Laura Lee (@RUMMSKiiiS) August 29, 2019
Next time I’ll just do a Twitter q&a
— 👼🏼 (@troyesivan) August 28, 2019
Despite Sivan’s fans expressing disgust at how the interview was handled, Out Magazine then pressed Sivan on his response. Sivan then released a statement on the situation over Twitter.
Firstly, Bloom is an album about love. I said that in every single interview i did about the album. Suggesting that i made the entire album about bottoming is over sexualising me + my work, and is reductive
— 👼🏼 (@troyesivan) August 29, 2019
“Last I’ll say on this, but disappointing to see that Out Magazine, an LGBT publication, was the only one to miss the mark so much on the reporting of this,” he wrote.
Sivan added, “Firstly, Bloom is an album about love. I said that in every single interview I did with the album. Suggesting that I made the entire album about bottoming is over sexualizing me + my work, and is reductive.”
The singer continued, “I speak about sex in my music on my terms, when I’m in control, and wirting music that is going to be close to my heart forever. That does not open the flood gates + give anyone a pass on basic manners and allow them to ask about the ins and outs of what I do in bed.”
“I highly doubt anyone would ask any of my straight peers explicit question about who does what to who in their relationship, no matter the content of their music. I don’t think artists should have to expect to be asked about that when they show up to work in the morning.”
I highly doubt anyone would ask any of my straight peers explicit questions about who does what to who in their relationship, no matter the content of their music. I don’t think artists should have to expect to be asked about that when they show up to work in the morning
— 👼🏼 (@troyesivan) August 29, 2019
Keep in mind, Sivan is opposing the media’s obsession with forcing him to talk about his sex life. He’s not ashamed of talking about bottoming but bothered that he was pestered for a year on the subject. That in itself felt hostile and problematic. And it makes one wonder why there was such an obsession and scandal over whether Sivan was a bottom.
“There’s no shame in anal sex or any kind of sex,” Sivan added, “I just don’t want to talk about it over the phone to a complete stranger.”
.@outmagazine i love you guys and all the work you do, just didn’t feel like this was a fair take on this. Okayyyyyyy I’m done n never talking about this again bc my parents read this stuff and i feel weird. love to all
— 👼🏼 (@troyesivan) August 29, 2019
In the end, there’s a stigma and a societal impression that bottoming is inferior or lesser than topping. This is based on sexist and misogynist perspectives that have poured into us from our straight peers. And as Lil Nas X said, “It doesn’t make any sense.”
Source: Variety,
This debate again? I guess gay people can’t manage fuckin numbers in their head? xD
If the porn industry has a 9:1 Bottom to Top ratio… Do the freaking math man c’mon lol. No discrimination here, simple mathematics.
If there’s a community of gay farmers, 90% of them are bottoms and farm themselves and 10% are tops who buy their produce from the bottoms; is it “fair” to expect the tops to simply grow their own? (or likewise is it fair to expect the bottoms to be able to purchase produce as well, despite already being inundated with it?)
This is a classic case of Equality vs Equity.