Meet the Straight Acting Brotherhood, where men can be into men but apparently want nothing to do with being gay. Make it make sense, gentlemen.
The word “straight” is apparently getting a whole new interpretation, because a group of men are insisting they can be attracted to other men without identifying as gay. Meet the Straight Acting Brotherhood, a club for men who like men but say they never quite fit into the LGBTQ+ crowd. And yes, they really want you to know they are definitely not gay.
Their social media bio keeps things brief: “Into men.” Well, at least we’re getting somewhere.
In one video, a creator named Jonny explains that he doesn’t identify as gay because he associates the label with things like glitter and Rainbow parades. While acknowledging that other people enjoy those things, he says he personally cannot relate and doesn’t believe liking men means he has to dress or behave a certain way.
“I’m just a normal guy,” he explains, adding that he simply happens to do things with boys.
Sir, nobody said you had to own a rainbow sequin jacket to qualify.
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When Being Masculine Becomes a Whole Identity
The Brotherhood’s founder has also criticized what he calls the “bullshit happening in the gay world.” He says he created the club for “ambitious gay men” who want more out of life than hookups, Rainbow parades, and nightlife. He describes himself as “straight-acting masculine.”
And here’s where things get interesting.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being masculine, disliking clubbing, avoiding hookups, or having zero interest in Pride festivities. Gay men are not a monolith, and nobody should have to perform a particular version of gayness to belong. Some love glitter; others would rather spend Saturday fixing a car, building a business, or watching football. All perfectly valid.
But why does the Brotherhood seem so determined to distance itself from gay identity by defining it through a handful of stereotypes?
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Straight, Gay, or Just Allergic to Rainbows?
Merriam-Webster defines “gay,” in the relevant sense, as relating to or characterized by same-sex romantic or sexual attraction, often referring specifically to men. That definition doesn’t require a particular wardrobe, personality, political opinion, or social calendar.
Of course, nobody else gets to dictate someone’s identity. A man can experience attraction to men and choose not to call himself gay. Sexual behavior, attraction, and personal identity aren’t always identical, and labels remain a personal choice.
The issue isn’t that these men reject a label. It’s the suggestion that being gay means embracing a particular lifestyle, and that being masculine or ambitious somehow requires separating yourself from it.
You can dislike nightlife without disliking gay people. You can be masculine without making gayness your opposite. And you can want meaningful relationships without acting as though the rest of the community is shallow.
The Straight Acting Brotherhood may be looking for a place where men like them feel understood. Fair enough. But if the price of belonging is putting down the very community their attraction connects them to, perhaps the problem isn’t the word “gay.” Perhaps it’s the baggage they’ve attached to it.